Today, putting in a little plug for the upcoming Showtime series "The L Word" . . . yep, it stands for Lesbian.

[Side note: Why don't some people like this title? I like it; it implies that lesbians are still kind of invisible, thus this show, and the lifestyle sort of taboo. . . and it'ss much better than the original title of the show, "Earthlings"]

So, this weekend my gal and I screened a rough copy of the original pilot for this show (when it was, yes, still called "Earthlings" - don't get me started on that name!). Not bad at all, I say.

I'm soooo tempted to switch from my beloved HBO to Showtime, just to get this show. (Ok, AND "Queer As Folk")

Because we saw the first draft pilot, some of the content will be changed for the Showtime version -- and let's just hope it's the sex scenes! We counted not 1, not 2, but 4 times the heterosexual couple "did the deed"*** -- while only 1 brief, albiet in a swimming pool, scene of a lesbian couple.

The show itself, nicely filmed, somewhat funny, cute cast. Could use more diversity, but this is about a group of friends, almost all of whom are young, thin, white, hip, etc. Not very realistic, but, hey, this IS television here, folks! I, for one, like my fantasies to have some "fantasy" to them.

On a side note, I used the phrase "doing the deed" above because, while leafing through my 18-year old neices' copy of Cosmo this weekend, yes, I discovered, ALL of the articles were quite graphically about sex. . . except they used these sort of euphimisms.

So, while the magazine's content was clearly for the young women among us (I'm thinking the 24-35 demographic), the phrasing appealed to an even younger crowd. Not sure how comfortable I am with 14 year olds reading about how to give a guy the perfect blow job (which, the article pointed out, wasn't really about blowing at all... but about other, graphic, activities not to be reprinted here in this family blog!).

So, Saturday afternoon, I found myself with a free hour to myself, sitting in our family room flipping through the TV channels - and what calls out to me? A repeat showing of "In the Gloaming". . .

. . .the Christopher-Reeve-directed TV movie about a young man (Robert Sean Leonard) who goes home to Connecticut to die (he has AIDS) and has long, meaningful chats with his (previously) emotionally distant mother (Glenn Close).

When I first saw the movie, I totally related with the son - Danny. Lack of communication with his family, moved far away, couldn't talk about being gay. I've worked for a few AIDS agencies, and I knew the things the movie portrayed - Danny's mom didn't want to touch him, his sister wouldn't let his nephew visit, his father didn't want to talk to him.

This time around, though, I totally connected with the mother - who just wanted to know, basically, if Danny had been happy - if he had loved and been loved in return in his life. (He had.)

So, there I was, alone in my house, bawling my eyes out, hoping that I won't ever have to ask The Banana questions like Glenn Close had to ask Danny as they spent his final months together, to find out about his life, his interests, his thoughts and feelings.

Thankfully, The Banana shares these things with us constantly. Ok, so she's only five. I know, when she's a teenager, blah, blah, blah. I just hope we're getting her into a good pattern of talking with us about things. And that she'll always feel she can come to us to talk.

Oh, and that she'll love and be loved in return.

Go on, call me the "B" word, you know you wanna. That's my new mantra. Waddya think?

Since I've turned 40, I've noticed how much I don't care anymore what other people think. I've started speaking up more about all kinds of things and can hear those whispers in people's heads, which probably also start with the word "Fat," seeing as I've heard that all my life, too. Not very original, folks.

Today, let me share with you my Septa story. Here is the gist of letter I sent customer service:

"While waiting for the R8 at Carpenter this morning, I saw an orange Septa truck park in one of the two handicapped spots in the parking lot. I pointed this out to the drive and he nicely moved the vehicle. He and two other men were having their morning coffee in the truck. [MV note: not that there's anything wrong with that]

"About 1 minute later, another man exited the truck and approached me, asking who I was. I answered that I was a concerned Septa customer, who has seen at least 2 cars with H/C tags park in the Carpenter lots. He pointed to a snow pile in the "reserved for Septa" parking spot, mentioned that the truck would normally park there, and asked if I would like to shovel the snow! [the noive!]

"I said, "No, I believe that would be Septa's responsibility." He said that Septa contracted out for that service. I replied that perhaps Septa take this up with the contractors, then. I also asked why he wanted to know who I was - and who was he? He then walked into the ticket agent's office without answering."

So, there I was -- being questioned by a Septa employee as to who I was and why I was getting involved in a situtation that clearly violated Septa regulations, not to mention the law! I could hear the whispers.

Seems like a lot of the whispers are coming during normal, urban life-type situations: asking the kids on the sidewalk to move a bit so I can walk by them to our offices; asking grown adults to please not use the "F" word when my 5-year old daughter is right there; asking other Septa customers to please move their bags off the seat so I could sit down; asking a co-worker to please not scoff at me for asking a question in a staff meeting about the Team Builder exercise we were doing!

People, people, people. Call me what you will. I've only just begun!

Today's topic : The "T" Word. Testosterone.
Why I like it. Why we need it. How are lives are better for it.

I pondered this subject over the weekend, as Our Man Roger, neighbor-extraordinairre, cleaned out our gutters, took our huge and heavy air conditioner out of the first floor window and down to our basement, and pulled a very large and ominus looking branch off our porch roof.

It got me thinking about all those folks who, somehow, think lesbians "hate" men. To set the record straight (so to say), neither I nor any of the lesbians I know and love hate men.

I grew up with two brothers, the youngest of whom was my best friend and sidekick through our elementary school years. I adore my father and my uncles, particularly my godfather. Male cousins, too; who I've shared my youth with, and now our adult lives.

On the local front, I pondered, there's my Train Buddy Bryan - with whom I can talk sports, growing up in western PA, progressive politics, and raising daughters with.

And there's Jon, who will actually attend a girl's basketball game with me (even if his son is not to thrilled about it and would rather see the boys' game), and with whom I can share Cooking Light and WW recipies.

And let's not forget the Fathers of Children in My Daughters' Class and the local Brothers-In-Law, both sets of whom I always seem to end up talking with at any school, class, family gatherings.

So, here's to the Men in my life = hoo ha!

Finally! I've always known in the back of my mind that Wal-Mart is evil. Thanks to the New York Times and today's Radio Times (local Philly talk show), I've learned a lot more about why I think this way. In a nutshell:

Wal-Mart = "low prices"
Low prices = low wages for workers.
No benefits for workers.
No "right" to unionize.
Low prices = competition.
Other stores close.
Low wages = competition.
Other workers lose.

Wal-Mart family members comprise, like, 5 of the Top 10 Richest Americans.
In 2003, they (Mrs. W and kids) were #s 4-8 according to Forbes.
If Mr. W. were alive today and had not distributed his wealth to his wife and children, he'd be 2x richer than Bill Gates! We're talking "bil-yuns and bil-yuns" here!

Are they hoarding their $$$ ? Not necessarily. Their family foundation does give lots of money away (yet, the family members still are all billionaires). Let's take a look at their charitable giving, shall we?

Hmmm. "Education". . .

Charter schools. Education reform focusing on accountability. Scholarships for children "who do not have the opportunity to attend quality public schools" to attend private schools. Gee whiz. They could put their billions into public education and imagine what great public schools they would have!

Also, they gave a lot of $$$ to U. of Arkansas and Catholic Social Services, and tend to keep the majority of their giving within Arkansas and Mississippi.

Perusing their Annual Report, I especially enjoyed their 2002 gift of $191,500 to the National Cowgirl Museum & Hall of Fame; and was dismayed to discover that they gave $50,000 to my alma mater, Marquette!

Now, let's look at my favorite retailer Target and their Community Foundation:

Arts. Culture. Social Services. Emergency food pantries, assistance programs, housing programs. Food, shelter and clothing to at-risk families. Much more in line with my own personal values.

Anyhoo. There it is. There you have it. If you're luck enough to live in a large Metropolitan area and have choices, use your freedom of choice. It's your inalienable right.

Sports Bits by moi.

Watched the awesome Eagles game Sunday. Fly, Eagles, Fly. . .! Also watched the post-game press conferences and analysis on Comcast. I just can't help myself. I love that our governor is a sports fan and spends his few free hours a week talking about football. However, I couldn't help but notice how much "talk" there's been lately on the post-game show regarding clothes and hair. Are all these guys turning metrosexual? Not only do they talk amongst themselves about each other's clothes and hair, but did I not actually hear one of the reporters ask a player what designer (as opposed to whose throwback jersey) he was wearing?

On the hoops front, while it's not anywhere near March Madness yet, college hoops has begun and Marquette is 6-0. Not time yet to pull out my Final Four t-shirts to wear, yet; but I've thought about it. I did, of course, miss their 1st TV game (Coaches v Cancer), as our cable was out that night! And, I forgot about the 2nd one (MU-Notre Dame, the "old" rivalry from our Independent days). I'll blame it on the time change.

Oh, well, gotta get all my energy up for the St. Joe's - UConn women's game here at the Palestra. Small, old gym. Loud as heck. Me = tix 3 rows back from the SJU bench. It'd best not snow! First, though, gotta get through 'Nova (tonight) and UVA and Debbie Ryan. Tough schedule, re-vamped team. It'll be good to see Sue Moran again, back as an Assistant Coach after warming the bench for the Liberty.

On the high school front, I was surprised to learn this week that the Alliquippa (Pittsburgh) sports teams are called The Quips. My friend Bryan (from Pittsburgh) sez that's cause the area thar is called The Quip. Still, couldn't they foresee the "Quips and Bloods" jokes coming?

Here's a "shout out" to My Man Roger -- cyclist extraordinairre -- who faithfully rode his bike to work last Friday, during the blizzard-like conditions. Actually, his ride home was worth noting: snowy, icy, and all uphill back to the homestead. I hearby nomintate ye for My First Annual I-Wanna-Be-Like-Lance (but I won't be leaving my wife anytime soon) Award

So, speaking of relations, and family and such. . . I recently wrote a small piece to submit to local print media re: gay marriage. Who knows if they'll ever publish it? I thought. "Aha!" I said to myself. "Self, you can publish it on your blog!" Thus. . .

A Case for Gay Marriage

Like any other parent, my greatest fear since my daughter's birth has been worrying about her safety. Every step she's taken, every jungle gym she's climbed on or steps she's jumped from – I visualized bad bruises, broken bones, stitches and CAT scans.

But my larger fear, one that my heterosexual neighbors and friends don't understand, is that I could be denied the right to be with her in the hospital, emergency room, or even the doctor's office.

It happens. Homophobic doctors; liability and malpractice issues; HIIPA regulations about sharing medical information. I lived through the 80s when gay partners were not allowed to be with their dying lovers. My fear is real.

Why? Because as a lesbian parent – the non-birth mother – I did not, until recently, have legal standing in her life, even though I've raised her from birth. It was only this year (she's 5 now) that "second parent" adoptions were upheld by the PA state supreme court and I could legally adopt my daughter.

I still have some fear left in me, but it's subsided, thanks to the courts. (And, yes, I carry a copy of our adoption papers and her birth certificate with me in my wallet!)

But, I don't have that slip of paper for my partner of 10 years – the mother of our child, my lifemate. Because we can't legally marry (using the civil definition of the word), I could very well be denied access to her hospital room, medical records - even though I am her medical power of attorney - or, worse, her deathbed.

The fear lives on. And, while marriage would afford gay men and lesbians like myself many other civil rights, it is this one that I am most concerned about. I made a vow to love and comfort my partner "in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

If only the legislature and the courts will give me that chance.

Walking to work today, watching the birds and the snow and the trees, I realized that I didn’t really explain yesterday's post regarding the phrase “All My Relations.”

Originally, I intended it to mean not only my family-of-origin, but all my related families of choice – in particular, my many good friends : those whom I spent Thanksgiving with, those who’ve moved away and we communicate mostly by e-mail but who still understand my comings-and-goings, those who still live nearby and we talk via phone and try to connect every few months or so. . .

But, the phrase means much more than that; and I intended it to be understood in the larger sense, as well.

“All My Relations” refers to the interactions of all relationships up to the present moment. One definition is that “It brings together in our consciousness all our ancestors, parents, children, husband, wives, friends, life partners and lovers as gifts to the present moment.”

It also refers to the inclusiveness of everything in and around us (i.e. in nature) being a part of us, and us, a part of everything. “Realizing self and owning our interrelationship with the living world around us, and with the Great Spirit and Mother Earth. The flow of nature outside us and within us is the natural order of things. We are not apart from it; we do not exist of it. We exist along with it.”

It is about achieving proper relations ("respect" and "reciprocity") with all living things, all life, all creatures, all creation and the Creator.

Native Americans use the phrase to begin and end prayers and speeches – “for all that is above me, below me, and all around-me, all my relations.”

For All My Relations, I am thankful.

It appears I'm into "lists" these days, doesn't it? Well, here's another one, then:

Things I'm Thankful For This Thanksgiving

my family ("all my relations")

especially, The Banana

homemade mashed potatoes

the Eagles (when they win)

fairly warm Autumn weather

e-mail and, sometimes, listservs

the Bravo Network

okay, cable TV in general

king-sized beds

decent health insurance

pecan pie

trees

CD-R bootlegs

our new heater

having had the money to pay for our new heater

the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle

flex time

life

A few more tidbits from my life :

Driving my 5-year old to school the other day, she saw a woman in the car next to us smoking a cigarette.

My daughter : "Why is that lady smoking, Mommy?
Me : "I dunno, honey."
Her : "Cigarettes are bad for you."
Me : "Yes, they are. They hurt your lungs bad."
Her : "She must not like herself very much."

From the mouths of babes.

Both my gal and I love to read The Ethicist in the New York Times Magazine, so we're always trying to apply his "advice" to our daily lives. This morning, for example, the gal wondered whether or not she could re-use a stamp from a letter we received. The post office had neglected to cancel the letter over the stamp, so it appeared pretty clean. Should we take it off and re-use it? The post office gets all our money, anyway; and they keep on raising their rates. Hmmmmm. . . .

W.W.T.E.D. ? (What Would The Ethicist Do ? )

I pondered this same question as I strode up to my train station this a.m. and the guys from a local church were handing out literature about their (Christian) church, along with free coffee. I took the literature but politely declined the coffee. I practice Judaism. Old Catholic guilt would haunt me if I took the coffee, knowing perfectly well I would never attend their church or even consider Christianity again.

While I'm sure The Ethicist would have said it's okay to take the coffee, I just couldn't.

So, can anyone figure out why The-Right-Wingers-Who-Don't-Want-The-Gays-To-Get-Married (because, you know, it'll just undermine the concept marriage as we know it) have naught to say on the subject of, oh, let's say, Michael Jackson - the HETERO alleged child abuser - or Scott Peterson - the HETERO alleged wife killer - or Neil Bush - the HETERO brother of the prez who alledgedly had sex with a number of women (while married) when he travelled to Asia ?

So, after the big Massachusetts decision, I stopped listening to NPR for awhile. I just didn't want to deal with the "backlash," ya know?

I thought I'd have a few days of nice, relaxing, stress-free life. . . but, no! I started to notice all of these other things out there, what I like to call the Funny (as in Ironic, Sarcastic, Snarky) Side of Life :

Saw a bumper sticker the other day -- No War For Oil. It was on the rear bumper of a big ole' SUV.

Commuting life:

Train conductor announcement : "Please move your briefcases off the seats next to you so others can sit down."

Train conductor announcement #2 : "Don't forget to move your items off the seats next to you, a lot of folks are boarding at this stop and will need seats."

Train conductor to lady in the seat behind me : "Ma'am, could you move your purse off the seat there so one of these riders could sit down?"

Lady in the seat behind me, to no one in specific: "What a seat nazi !"

Me, thinking in my head: "Kettle calling the pitcher black?"

Went to a foster parent / adoption "recruitment" meeting the other night. Our local DHS is actively recruiting gays and lesbians to become foster parents. As if that isn't ironic (however welcome) enough, it amazed me that many of the agencies in attendance did NOT have non-discrimination policies that included "sexual orientation".

At least 2 of my daughter's close friends-who-happen-to-be-boys are having boys-only birthday parties this year. She asked me why the girls weren't invited. I didn't know what to tell her, without getting into a long treatise about how sexism is a learned behavior and it starts in the home and it starts when boys are young and . . .

But, on the Bright Side of Life (insert your own Monty Python jokes / impressions here) --

Saw a great poster at a Rally for the Choice March I went to last week : "I asked if God was pro-choice, and She said yes!"

From the AP: Massachusetts' highest court ruled 4-3 today that the state's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional and gave lawmakers 180 days to come up with a solution that would allow gay couples to wed.

Woo hoo.

I must say, some ten+ years ago when we (the gays and lesbians) were all in-fighting about domestic partnership vs marriage, there were very few of us on the bandwagon for "gay marriage." (I was one of them, hoping to get to go to Hawaii. Aaah, remember the days?)

Then, some of us got domestic-ly partnered, and found we still had no rights. Okay, the right to pay $800 a month for insurance for our partners and children. The right, if one of us dies, to not have to pay real estate transfer taxes. And, one other thing, but who can recall?

See, didn't really make much of a difference, did it now?

Then, in Philly at least, that hetero guy sued the city and got domestic partnerships halted for the moment (our state Supreme Court will hear the case next year sometime).

But, Gay Marriage (or, as I like to say, "full and equal rights under the law") may just be here to stay. Ok, so Massachusetts isn't Hawaii, but it has some nice beaches none-the-less.

Oooh -- how about a real mass Marriage ceremony in P-Town next summer during Family Week? At sunset? With the whales floating by and the ghosts of our ancestors, who came here so that they could be FREE (let us not forget), dancing in their graves?

Ok, so the Massachusetts legislature still has to act. And it might not be a positive action. But, hey, give me my 15 minutes of pure, unadulterated joy, ok? It may be all I have for another 10+ years or so.

Now that I've recovered from my Election Day depression (happens every year - kind of a "let down" of sorts, excitement is over, my candidates didn't win, etc.), I spent a wonderful, relaxing weekend at the homestead.

Everyone should have one of these weekends once-in-a-while:

Slept in.

Got a good nap in on Saturday.

Caught some football on TV.

Had an impromptu Saturday night potluck (salmon for the adults) / movie night ("Finding Nemo" for the kids) with the neighbors.

Watched a new Madeline movie on video with The Banana -- twice !

Had some new friends over from brunch on Sunday (actually, a former high-school teacher of mine and her partner & child, but that's a story for another day).

Had some g.f.-time, albiet spent watching a very baaaad lesbian/feminist take-off of "Return of the Secaucus Seven" / "Big Chill" flix. [To save some of you the time and rental fees, it's called "Everything's Relative" from Wolfe Video - don't do it! Just say no!]

Talked on the telphone with some B-More friends.

Actually got around to starting this week's NY Times crossword puzzle!

Finally turned the heat on.

And, had a nice train ride this a.m. with my buddy Jonathan. Chatted a bit. Didn't talk about the news. No depressing Eagles wrap up (they play tonight). Felt kind of invigorated, in fact.

Reminded me of one of the new Indigo Girls' songs - paraphrased a bit here by moi, as I only have it on a (legal) boot tape, as the song won't be released until next year :

"If you can't see / beyond the myth of isolation
When the miracle of daybreak / doesn't move you anymore
Connect the points / and see the constellations
As the night comes down / on the reservoir
It's one Perfect World / when we look the other way"

So, its Election Day in the City of Brotherly Love. And, what happens first thing in the a.m.? A guy sucker punches another guy for noting that guy #1 should probably not put his (guy #1's) signs over guy #2's signs.

Must be the testosterone.

We gals would have just waited until the coast was clear. Or, in my case, written some smarmy commentary on the sign.

Anyhoo, I've taken a respite from NPR and opted to listen to my version of "alternative radio" today. That's right - I'm listening to Right Wing Talk Radio.

Hey, they're covering the election all day (okay, in between the Rush Limbaugh's of the world) - live from the polls ! What could be better ? Oh yeah, and they're calling it "War Room Coverage" - which, we find out, really means from the posh Palm Restaurant in Center City (and, later, from the steakhouse Morton's).

We should all have such a "war room," eh ?

My polling place this morning was almost a mini-war room. The line was verrrry long, since, with all the ballot questions and judgeship retentions to read through, it took each voter about 10-15 minutes to vote, and there are only 2 booths at my place.

But, I survived without even having to fend off any literature-hawkers on the sidewalk. Things were almost too calm.

Not gonna tell ya who I voted for, though. I'm embarassed, you see. I didn't want to vote for either guy for Mayor. They're making it out to be this big race thing, too. ("They" being the usual : the media, the pollsters, the campaign managers.) I just want a good Mayor, black, white, orange, yellow, green.

Oh, well, four years seems to go by pretty qucikly these days. And there's always the Presidential Election next year to get excited about!

---

Well, I'm ba-a-a-a-ck!

Spent 7 sunny days, 6 lovely nights in LaLa Land (ok, close enough : Anaheim, Orange County CA - and, not one Ah-nold memorabilia sighting! How disapointing! Lots of smoke and ash, though, as we were not far from "The Fires" - which, by the way, only aggrivated our family allergies/asthmas).

Actually, we spent most of our time in the Land of Disney. And let me just say, what a Land it is. I'd been before - both to CA and FLA - but this time, as a parent, as a consciencious adult consumer, it was quite a different journey.

Lots of things for the buyin'. Lots of things to be had. Thankfully our 5-year-old, for some reason unbeknownst to us (maybe she didn't realize that just about everything she saw was for sale), didn't want for much. A Minnie hat here, a huge lollipop there, some things for her friends (all together now: "aw, how cute").

She met just about every Character she could, got tons of autographs, and was well spent each night when we retired to our hotel.

As were we.

Good thing the Parks were on "off-season" hours; not sure I coulda handled more time spent in Happyville. And, yes, everyone is so happy there, just like I remember. The workers (oh, excuse moi, "cast members") are extrememely helpful - and pro-actively so - and the Parks are clean, clean, clean, although I never saw one person taking away trash, or sweeping, or otherwise. Hmmm. Maybe those magic wands do the trick! Gotta get me one of those, if that's the case.

And, the shops have just about everything your heart desires - except, as we discovered, any Daisy Duck items. However, the items in the stores there all tended to be quite good prices - much cheaper than in the Disney stores. (And I know this for a fact as I have priced many a Pooh-stuffed-animal-item in my many years of traveling.)

I will say this as well : those Disney folks know how to run a company. Efficiency, creativity, cleanliness, friendliness, happiness. Think we can get them to train our government civil servants?


P.S. If you get to Disney's California Adventure anytime in the near (or far) future, you must check out "Soarin' Over California" - kind of a mix between an IMAX film and a Star Tours-type ride, where you're suspended in air (yes, I had to be nudged onto the ride) while "watching", on a huge screen, various California sites from, literally, a "bird's-eye-view" - complete with flying motions and sensual experiences such as wind and the smell of the orange groves. Tre-men-dous!

So, I read recently that lesbians have more in common with other women than with gay men.

It's true that, in my younger days, I mostly hung with the gay boys. We had a lot in common: discos, clubbing, cruising. It was the AIDS Era, a time when the men and the women of the LGBT community were making strides to "come together" - work together - to fight AIDS, revitalize community centers, form coalitions.

These days, I find most of my friends are, indeed, other women: STRAIGHT women -- AND straight men = other parents, homeowners, neighbors.

The guys and I talk about sports, deals at the grocery stores, which paint store is the best. We women talk about car pools, managing kids' schedules, play dates and sleep-overs, and if there are any good movies out we've all missed.

I've often thought that becoming a parent is "the great equalizer" between the straights and the gays. No longer does sexuality matter. [Who has time for sex, anyway?] It's all about the kids.

From selecting a day care or a school, to what to be for Halloween, finding religion/ethics/values becoming more important in our lives, and paying attention to our investments : it's all about Family Values.

In fact, it's somewhat difficult to get together with other, non-parent, lesbians; as our lives are so different. I can't just change my schedule anymore to meet a friend for dinner after work, or go out dancing late at night, or cruise garage sales on the weekend.

My social life is now filled with making lunches, going to library programs, outings with my daughter to the WaWa (a special treat for her, a coffee for me), searching the web for when any G-rated movies are going to come out, and hanging drawings on the wall.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ripped from the headlines : Philadelphia City Council proposes 15 percent raise. Sub-header: The proposed increase would give Council's 17 members salaries higher than their New York City counterparts.

What's wrong with this picture? Oh, where do I start?

Election day is just 4 weeks away.... what is the City Council thinking? . This proposal would have to go through public hearings. Know any members of the public who'd give our councilmembers raises from $85,000 to $98,000 a year? A raise (at 15%) waaaay more than a cost-of-living raise?

Plus, the City's been trying to cut its budget to reduce the deficit. How does this bill help? And, what about all the un- and under-employed of the City? Oh, ye who are forgotten.

I guess I'm also upset upon finding out that my councilperson makes $85,000+ a year, paid out of MY taxes, for representing "me." (Not!) And, that she was NOT one of the councilpersons who refused to sign on to the bill.

Lordy, this City and Its Politics is sometimes too much to take, ya know what I mean? I won't even go into what's going on with the mayoral race. Guess I should be glad I didn't live here during the Rizzo years, eh? Count ye blessings. . .

Sometimes, my brain is just too full to even try to write anything, ya know what I mean? Like, how to decide what to write? How to sort it all out, make sense of it all.

Today was chock full o' news. . . the California recall "en banc" deliberations; the U.N. speeches; Phils on a losing streak; Katz vs Street for mayor; blah, blah, blah.

A few points of interest, my mind seems to have focused on:

Got an e-mail announcing that Michael Hinson, the mayor's so-called Liaision to the LGBT Community, will be awarded a Human Relations Award from the Philadelphia Human Relations Committee in October. Isn't it interesting how a City Agency feels compelled to honor a City Employee for, basically, Doing His Job (for a pretty nice salary, too). The Same City Employee who sued his employer, The City, for police brutality. . . and won. And Kept the Money. (Personally, I would have at least donated it to a victim's rights group.) Ah, Election Years.

Went to msn.com to get info about today's U.N. session, and right there at the Today on MSN section (where the "important" stuff is) - are these four topics:

. . . Bush-Annan showdown at the U.N. (yes, that's how they worded it)
. . . John Reed to take $1 to run the NY Stock Exchange (now there's a story!)
. . . Snoring aids tested (no comment)
. . . Are you a metrosexual?

So, since I've recently written about "straights who are gay wanna-be's," I thought I'd click that link (see how my mind gets easily muddled?). Wonder of wonders, I'm taken to the ESPN web site! Blah, blah, David Beckham, shaving/waxing, etc. Hmmm. And just last night, while perusing a recent issue of "Out," I came across that Fag Stag label again. Can't it all just let me be?

So, then, I switch over to CNN.com and, while they have a full section on the U.N. thing, their secondary headlines include the one topic my mind cannot pass up: Ben and Jen. What can I say? The world (and I) want to know. . . are they "on-again"? "Off-again"? I feel for Ben. You know she'll just dump him after the marriage. Look at her history. Ah, love is blind.

And, my latest gripe: Why doesn't my local public library branch ever carry the books I want? It's always another branch that has whatever book(s) I search for. Even My Girl was surprised recently when she went to borrow a new book by a local author, Tanya Barrientos, and our branch did not have a copy. Shouldn't ALL the branches at least support local authors? At least they carried both Jennifer Wiener books, albiet one copy of each and I had to be on the waiting list forever to read "In Her Shoes."

Just what are my taxes going towards, anyway?

Been wondering where I've been, haven't you? Well, recently, I spent some quality, family-time in Las Vegas - the strangest place on the face of the earth (and, like a car wreck, impossible to not get involved with).

[By "family" I mean my wild 'n' crazy, extended family : mom, dad, assorted aunts & uncles including the gay aunties and their friends, who I hung out with as a young baby dyke in a small town. The Girl and The Banana are not Vegas fans.]

Here's what I like about Vegas:

You can pretty much smoke ANYwhere - which, I'm pretty sure, is one of the last American freedoms we'll be seeing under John Ashcroft.

There is no separation of day and night, just hot and hotter. A good get-a-way for east coast blues (although I flew right back into the impending Isabel).

No one sleeps. You can, literally, find something to do at any hour of the day (which New York City used to boast about, but I've found really isn't true).

Food is cheap. And abundant. [Just check out any buffet in the casinos.]

There's nothing like flying into Las Vegas at night; the lights suddenly appearing in the desert. It's breathtaking. [Unless you allow your mind to think about all the water and electricity the city uses - endangered species both, out west.]

There are loads of gay folks. Who knew? I guess I never really noticed it before, but they're everywhere. In town as tourists. Working at the casinos. Hanging at the bar (bummed a cig from a Patriots fan, a gay boy I'm sure!, during the Big Game). Sigfield & Roy. 'Nuff said.

I should also mention I was much impressed by all of the application forms I completed at the casinos, for Player's Cards (slot cards). Under marital status, I had the option of selecting "domestic partner" in many cases; or, at the very least, "not married, living with a partner."

My gay aunties were solicited, as two women who live together and can show a relationship (i.e. joint bank account, will, mortgage, same address on driver's license), to win free show tickets for spending time listening about a timeshare opportunity.

And one of those guys on the street actually handed me a girlie strip club flyer! [Finally! i always ask when I go there why they only give them to the guys!]

Even the "Pocket Guide" book I checked out of my local branch of the public library had a section on Gay Vegas, including where to get "hitched" (ceremony only, as gay marriage is not legal -- in Vegas of all places!).

So, today I'm dropping off The Banana for her first full-day of Kindergarten and we're coloring at a table when I overhear two other moms talking. About what, you say? What's for dinner tonight? Noooooo. What T.V. shows they let their kids watch? Noooooo. They're talking about struts and brake pads and how quickly their tires wear out. [And these were Straight Moms!]

It got me thinking about all the Cool Moms I've met recently . . . balancing work, kids, laundry, school, activities, grocery shopping, and... well, Life. If we lived in Suburbia, they'd be The Soccer Moms. Since we don't, I'll make up my own label (ala yesterday's posting): The Mega Moms.

You know them : they're the cool, crunchy-granola version of The Soccer Mom. They Know About Cars. They Get Out the Vote. Take All their Neighbor's Plastics to Recycling. Organize the Block Parties. Join the Co-op Babysitting Club. Read Consumers Report, The Nation, and the Weddings & Engagements section of the "New York Times." Find Time to Jog in the Woods. Have Their Own Special Parking Spot at Home Depot.

And I was worried yesterday about the straight-gay blending going on with men (as reported by VH-1; however I have yet to be convinced this is occuring in the straight male community). It's really happening with straight moms. . . blending their Yin and their Yang, their Alpha Male and their Mother Earth.

I know more Straight Women with stereotypical "dyke" characteristics than I know lesbians. Women who can patch a screen door, change a flat tire (on the Excalibur!), carry heavy loads in a single bound (babys, backpacks, and grocery bags). Women who are proud of the flannel they own, the dogs that they love, and the dishwasher they fixed by themselves (with a little help from the Time-Life series).

And, they still find time, somehow, to have their weekly French Manicures. Yo Go, Girls! I wanna grow up to be just like you!

Just when I thought that T.V. couldn't get any stranger, I tuned in last night to the ending of a VH-1 program called "Totally Gay".

At about the time I tuned it, the program was addressing such news-worthy items as straight men who "act" gay (i.e. like getting massages and manicures and facials, shaving a variety of body parts, etc.) - a.k.a. Meterosexuals; gays in "straight" arenas such as professional sports (Billy Bean, now retired) and hip-hop (Cashaun); and straight women who "check out" the lesbian lifestyle, ala "Kissing Jessica Stein".

[John Waters, who was interviewed in the episode, called the actions of young, straight kids who experiment with or tell their parents they are gay as a way to upset them, "the new rebellion." I quite enjoyed that.]

I do confess, however, that "Kissing Jessica Stein" is a recent favorite movie of mine (I even have it on tape). In my weird lesbian mind, somehow, those two straight women actresses/writers becoming interested in each other and kissing (like, once in the whole movie) was soooooooo much better than, say any part of the lesbian-written and produced flick "Claire of the Moon".

Come to think of it, Mariel Hemingway was pretty hot in "Personal Best," as were Patricia Charbonneau and Helen Shaver in "Desert Hearts", Alison Folland and Tara Subkoff in "All Over Me", and Laurel Holloman (soon to be in that Showtime lesbian show) and Nicole Parker in "The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love."

Hmm. What does that make me? In the show last night, besides terming Metrosexuals, they also clued us in to the labels Hasbian (which, as any person who has ever hung out around a Bryn Mawr alum knows, is a woman who used to be a lesbian - i.e. while at Bryn Mawr - but no longer is); and Stag Fag: a straight man who hangs around gay men.

I, for one, slept soooooooo much better having learning these interesting things about straight people who wanna be "totally gay"!

Lots going on these days, eh? Bushie asking for, what, like $90 billion for Iraq war. Phils on a roll. School is starting. Blah, blah, blah. And what is the big news in my 'hood? The new Trader Joe's that opened in Center City!

Is it closer to the neighborhood than Jenkintown? Is there parking? Is it too crowded still to venture out to? Ya'd think that no one ever saw a new Trader Joe's before!

I know, I know -- for the vast, sorry majority of you all, you haven't! We are mighty lucky 'round these parts to have a selection of stores to travel to. I, for one, could not live without my chocolate-covered soy nuts; nor Hannah, without her TJ's mac-and-cheese.

While reading about TJ's this weekend, I noticed that it is a privately-held company. I began to worry that my purchases were making 2 rich men even richer. My gal pointed out to me that the prices at TJ's are quite low (for most items), they pay their employees well and provide good benefits, and many grocery items are organic in nature.

So, as supporting businesses go, let's just say, it's not Wal-Mart (which, techinically, makes about 4-6 very rich people extremely rich)...

Speaking of new, local businesses - a "shout-out" to the new gals who've opened my new fave Mt. Airy hang-out, the Rinker Rock Cafe on Emlen at Mt. Pleasant. Great food (can you say "diverse"?), good prices, neat concept, nice women. If I made more money, I'd go there even more often than I have thus far.

Go. Eat. Support. Enjoy.

Well, hello there. Back from vacation. Lots of day trips, reading, relaxing, fun with the fam. Almost forgot to get back to the Blog, but of course, I listen to public radio all day at work !

Thus, yesterday I got a full Terry-Gross-hour of Mr. Al Franken, he of the Fox News lawsuit for using, as his latest book's title, some words "they" (Fox News) think they control: "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them (A Fair and Balanced Look at The Right)."

Personally, I think, if Fox News would like to align themselves with the "lies and lying liars" part of the book title, now that would be interesting. [It's the "fair and balanced" phrase that Fox News was challenging, saying they "owned" it. They lost. Hee Hee.]

Anyhoo, while I have not yet read the book, I can say this much about the interview: he is very funny and Terry Gross asked good questions. He mostly talked about The Right Wing Media and how facts are often ignored or misinterpreted in their coverage of... oh, whatever.

Now, this got me to thinking how even the so-called-Liberal-Media i.e NPR, or any media coverage we expose ourselves to i.e. The Inky, USA Today, MSNBC, BBC, Christian Science Montior, The Nation, etc.... is in someway biased. It's all from a point-of-view (whomever's), and the real trick is to not only read between the lines but try to figure out what's missing.

In a lovely converstation with train-buddy Bryan this a.m. (who plans to start his own blog soon), he pointed out that, for instance, no one is reporting the number of casualties (not deaths) that occur each day as a result of our post-war occupation of Iraq.

It's just so hard . . . keeping up with all the news, trying to figure out what's right and what's wrong . . . No wonder people blindly follow cults, er I mean, organizations like the Catholic Church, or the Republican Party - who tell them what is right and wrong, what to believe or not, and why. It's so much easier than figuring it out for yourself.

O, happy vacation day. Just getting around to posting after a simply wonderful Indigo Girls concert. [Those of you who know me were wondering when I'd get around to talking about the Girls, didn't you?]

The venue : Wolf Trap (for old times sake). The seats : About 15 rows back, Emily side (hey, my friend Karen bought them). Opened with : "Hammer and a Nail" !

"My life is part of the global life
I’d found myself becoming more immobile
When I’d think a little girl in the world
Can’t do anything
A distant nation my community
And a street person my responsibility
If I have a care in the world
I have a gift to bring"

Exactly what I wanted to say today about why I like the Indigo Girls - music & otherwise. They talk the talk, and walk the walk. They say what needs to be said, and are activists for very important causes: Honor the Earth, native American rights, no nukes, pro-Choice, anti-School of the Americas, involved with NGLTF (look it up), etc.

As my friend Karen pointed out at the concert, it was reasonably priced and t-shirts were only $15. They keep the costs down, so their concerts / music can be accessible to a variety of audiences. (And that it was - one of the strangest IG crowds I've seen in a while ... but, that's another story. It's always a bit strange when alcohol is served at a concert venue, eh?)

Ah, voting. I promised I'd write about it (and politics) today, and here I am. Meet "the Activist" in me.

Have I ever been a happy voter? Not much. I vaguely remember wanting to vote for John Anderson (Independent) in 1980, but not quite being old enough yet. A grade school teacher of mine took us to a rally for Jimmy Carter in 1976; that was pretty exciting. My first vote in a presidential election was for Gary Hart (pre-scandal).

I quite enjoyed Bill Clinton's campaign win (yep - I voted for him). My girl Marcy & I even travelled to D.C. for the inauguration. Of course, then came "don't ask, don't tell," the national health care shambles (why are Americans so afraid of strong women like Hillary?), blah blah blah. I was way over him even before "Monica."

There were some bright spots when I lived in Maryland. I worked on the campaign of Salima Siler Marriott for House Delgate. She's still one of the only politicians I've ever met who I actually like / trust / respect. Maggie McIntosh is doing good things there. Parris Glendening turned out okay (second term). Barb Mikulski, Kweisi Mfume... we had decent representation there.

Then, I moved to PA. Arlen Spector (still can't forgive him for that Anita Hill crap). Rick-boy. John Street. Donna Reed Miller. I do like Chaka Fattah, though, I must say. I liked Ed Rendell as mayor, but I'm not sure what he's up to as govenor, though.

Presidentially, I never got to cast a meaningful vote for Bill Bradley. But, this year, I am quite enjoying the whole Howard "I'm from the Democratic Wing of the Democratic Party" Dean shake-up.

I guess I'm not much of a Democrat after all. I tend to be more liberal than our middle-of-the-road "newbies." So, I've been checking out The Green Party Dig the organizing principles / values of the American Greens :

Grassroots Democracy

Social Justice and Equal Opportunity

Ecological Wisdom

Nonviolence

Decentralization

Community-Based Economics and Economic Justice

Feminism and Gender Equity

Respect for Diversity

Personal and Global Responsibility

Future Focus

It seems so simple. So right. But, like gays and lesbians, people are afraid of what they don't know. I kind of like the Green platform, but then, how many times will I ever get to vote in a primary? Will the party ever get the respect it deserves? Will there be media coverage, inclusion in debates? Will I end up feeling like a second-class citizen if I "go green," much like The Gays (except, this summer) feel every day?

Stay tuned.

There's something I've wanted to clear up for a long time now: PGN publisher Mark Segal does not speak for all us gays and lesbians in Philadelphia.

It's a good thing I listen to NPR all day, as I just caught Mr. Segal's endorsement of John Street for Mayor of Philadelphia. Which is interesting, because I could swear that just a few years ago, Mr. Segal's group, POPEC (Pride of Philadelphia Election Committee) endorsed Sam Katz over John Street for mayor. The race is the same this time around; so what's changed?

I, for one, haven't forgotten how John Street, as a city councilperson, rallied church leaders (including everyone's favorite bigot* Cardinal Bevilaqua) against the city's domestic partnership bill. He also filed a lawsuit against the city when Ed Rendell authorized an executive order allowing mayoral appointees to receive domestic partnership benefits. That's real "inclusive and sensitive to our needs"!

Why should I trust him now? As mayor, he said he'd support the current domestic partnership ordinances (all 3 of them -- woo hoo). Then, a state appeals court struck them down, after a lawsuit filed by Bill Devlin of the Urban Family Council and others (more on Mr. Devlin and that group at a later date). So, Mayor Street says the city will appeal the ruling to the state Supreme Court (ahem - has this happened yet? nooooooooooo). Do I think it's a priority of a person who so strongly advocated against domestic partnerships in the past? Nooooooooooooo.

As for Mr. Katz. Well, let's just say, there's no excuse for that $10K he gave Santorum's campaign in the past. Yes, he's said he's sorry he did it and won't do it again and was dismayed by Santorum's anti-homosexuality comments. But, here's the rub: Santorum was not a good guy before all his anti-gay stuff. He's extremely anti-choice. A very conserative, right-wing Christian guy. Katz should have never given him money in the first place, for a number of other, non-gay reasons.

So, where dost that leave a weary voter? [For you non-politicos, yes, there IS a 3rd party candidate, kind of.... but he's from the very Constitution Party : you know, Right to Life, Right to Bear Arms, Maintain a Strong National Defense, and my favorite "Restore the US to One Nation Under God" blah blah blah]

I, for one, am focusing on my local city council race - District 8, northwest Philly. Guess what folks? We have 3, count 'em 3, candidates: incumbant Donna Reed Miller (D), Republican Deborah Williams, and Green Party candidate Tom Hutt. Since it's not a primary, we can vote for whomever we want! More on this tomorrow.


* lest you're offended by my use of the word "bigot" in referring to the Cardinal, let me remind you of its definition: "a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own"

Lesbian. Parent. Activist. Sports Fan. I tried to sum myself up in those five words for this blog. Today, you get the "Sports Fan."

Went to the Phillies game last night. For those of you who have been hiding under a rock the last week or so, it was "Gay Community Day" with the Phillies. The scoreboard said so. The 500 and 600 levels, first base side, screamed it. A large number of us were actually watching the game!

Other sports fans among us might ask, "What game?" Yes, the Phillies lost. To the Brew Crew. A team we easily should have beat. We lost our lead in the wild card race. Found out, once more, that Duckworth is inconsistant. The team couldn't hit a fly (except Pat the Bat did get a very nice triple early in the game to knock in a run). Boo Birds were in the stands.

But, I digress. The focus of the evening, of course, were The Gays. I mean, all the tv stations were there, in our sections, interviewing fans. Still photographers snapping away like they'd never seen gay sports fans before. Poor Larry, who helped organize the outing. He got to throw out a ceremonial first pitch (to the Phanatic), then got bombarded by the media. I don't think he got to see much of the game at all.

I found it quite curious just how much press this event attracted. Then my friend Bryan pointed out that it IS the "Summer of the Gays." It's our 15 minutes of fame, roll with it. With all the brouhaha about extra security, fans calling into talk shows saying gays shouldn't be allowed to go to baseball games (now, that's about as un-American as you can get), blah blah blah, it was just. . . a night at the ballpark. Fans cheered. Fans booed. The Phanatic entertained. Some girl in a cheesehead cap and a guy in a cow suit danced. The home team lost and I lost my virginity.

Ok, I admit it, before last night, I was a Vet Virgin. Never been there. Never want to go there again. Glad I won't have to. I did get a very nice certificate for attending my first Phillies game at the Vet, signed by Larry Bowa (himself?). Now, when I was a kid growing up in Western PA in the '70s (and rooting for the Pirates), I must admit I did quite like Larry Bowa, and Mike Schmidt too. [Also, Roberto Clemente, Manny Sanguillen, Mario Mendoza--don't go there!--Pete Rose, Richie Hebner] The Phillies-Pirates had quite a rivalry back then. I saw the Phillies then - in Three Rivers Stadium [also glad that stadium's no longer]; but never in the Vet. Until last night.

If that sounds like I was a dyke-in-training to you, let me point out that all my straight girlfriends back then were also into baseball. It was our American pasttime. We went to the little league games to watch our (boy) friends play (girls not allowed!); we followed the Pirates (and Dodgers, and Phillies, and Indians); we collected baseball cards; we owned our own mitts and played at the school yard; we listened to games on the radio with our dads.

So, I still don't know why all the fuss over The Gays at the ball game last night. We were just having a group outing - like the Elks, or the church choir, or the youth groups do. We were watching a national pasttime, overpaying for Buds and dogs, and sweating in the August humidity. And the Phillies lost. What could be more non-gay than that?

Ok, so maybe this blog won't be the daily life of Maria Vee and family, as the "family" part of us gets kind of busy, especially on the weekends.

So, what does a gay/lesbian-headed family do on the weekend? In our case, we scheduled play dates for The Banana (which almost included a trip to our pool, 'cept for the thunderstorms!), went to a minor league baseball game, tried to catch up on long distance phone calls to friends and family, checked out a new restaurant/cafe near our house, did some laundry, paid some bills, and went to a "Kids Tea Party" with an Angelina Ballerina theme.

Now, this latter event was sponsored by one of our local public tv stations we shall call The Big K (yes, we're fortunate enough to live in a large media market that has more than one public tv/radio outlet). We attended the event by virtue of The Banana's membership in the public tv station's Kids Club. [So far, we've also had the chance to meet Clifford the Big Red Dog, have Stan & Jan Berenstain sign some books for us, and have our picture taken with Pooh Bear].

Since Marcy is only working part-time these days, we've been watching our spending, and the "memberships & subscriptions" line item of our budget is being scaled back. This lead to a recent philosophical discussion on our family's charitable giving. "Why," asked Marcy on the day I was writing the check to the Big K (see above), "aren't we also giving to The Big Y?" (one of the other local public tv stations - which happens to be very grassroots in nature, much to our liking, and has very diverse, local programming, i.e. targeting the African-American, gay, Indian, and Asian communities).

My response was that I was trying to save some money by only joining the Big K this year... and trying to maximize our giving -- in that, the Big K also airs locally produced programs, plus Clifford, Arthur & all the good PBS kids shows, and NOVA (which I like), and has a great radio station that I listen to all day with NPR and local programs, and has the Kids Club, blah blah blah.

It came down to, what's best for The Banana? Supporting the Big K which, while somewhat corporate in nature, does have good kids programming and family events; or the grassroots public tv station, the Big Y (headed by a woman, by the way), which is making a name for itself through diversity : both "core values" of ours (grassroots-ness and diversity).

I realized through our discussion that, while the family Kids Club events are fun, we also want The Banana to learn important core values. I wrote out checks for both.

A few words today about cultural differences. Isn't it interesting how people from other industrialized countries accept gays and lesbians while here in America, land of the free, there's so much homophobia?

We recently had two female students from Germany stay at our house while visiting Philadelphia (we're travel hosts through an international peace-and-justice travel organization called Servas). Now, granted, the mission of Servas is to promote tolerance and understanding of different cultures through travel; however, you never know if a traveler is tolerant or just looking for a cheap (free) place to crash.

Our experience? Our visitors have been extremely tolerant (to the point that it's never been an issue) of our being lesbians - as noted in our "host bio", we are "gay and lesbian friendly" (as well as close to local public transportation, always a draw). And our visitors have run the gamut -- young, old(er), men, women, from England, France, Germany, and Italy (to date). I couldn't even tell who might have been gay or lesbian themselves (blowing my theory about "Boy Meets Boy" - I mean, I used to think "what gay man can't tell who's gay or who's straight?").

And, last night at the new local ice cream hot spot, my bud Fernando points out that the guy who brought up the "touching" issues regarding the gay bishop was from the U.S. (Vermont) and that anyone from Cuba, say (or, insert your nation here: Puerto Rico, Italy, etc.) would have expected to touch and be touched during a conversation, without instigating a full investigation into sexuality.

So, today I'm chalking homophobia up to culture (ours!). Sometimes, I'm embarrassed to have been born in the usa.


[Side Note of Interest: Our Servas visitors have all been very interested in going to the art museums while travelling in the U.S. Quite a difference from the American tourists I see everyday on the way to my office, who just loooove to take pictures of the Hard Rock Cafe guitar! Go figure!]

Summertime. . . and the livin' is easy. . . how many of you had a vacation this year? We're still coming up on ours and can't decide what to do. Seeing as we're going to Disneyland in CA in October for a week with Bubbe & Pop, and to Vermont again in December, we didn't think we'd do much of a vacation this summer. But, we have time off. So. . .

While perusing the Advocate yesterday (borrowed, not purchased), I came across an item about Rosie O'Donnell's gal Kelli who started a travel company targeted to LGBT families. Now, there's a concept, I thought. We tend to seek travel more as a family than as gay or lesbian, but would like both family-friendly and gay-friendly travel. . .so, I checked out the website and it seems as they're doing an LGBT Family Cruise: NYC to the Bahamas. Aha! so they really meant a travel company targeted to rich LGBT families.

Now, I'm not saying we're poor: we do okay and The Banana seems to have everything she wants and needs; but, before I spend a minimum of $999 per person for a small room on the inside of a cruise ship, and would still have to buy Disney tickets, souvenirs from Key West and the Bahamas, and get to New York and back, well. . . as my neighbor said when our roofer offered us a low-cost "patch" job option or the full-roof fix option -- "What? He thinks we all just have $4,000 lying around our houses?"

Now, if I did have that kind of money lying around waiting to be used, I'm not sure a cruise, even an LGBT family cruise (which, I hear, Olivia Cruises might be offering as well), would be my first choice of a vacation. Europe would be up there. Alaska. Save the money for private school and go camping or crash with friends.

Even the Family Pride Coalition's Family Week in P-Town can get price-y. Now, I love P-Town, and can't wait to get back there with my girls, but a week in a rented house on the Cape in high season. . . well, we needed to start saving for it last year. [Point of clarification: we tend to try to pay off our credit cards, not have ongoing debt.]

So, I'm thinking we'll just do some day trips; maybe try to go camping with my cousin and his girls for a few days; use a friend's shore house and hang at Rehoboth Beach. I'm saving my money for some personalized Mouse Ears!

Ok, even I'm getting a bit tired of all the gay news these days. Since I listen to NPR all day at work, I'm often inundated with the same stories, hour after hour and if I never hear the media talk about gays or lesbians again, well... Ok, that would just be wrong. We've missed out on decades of media exposure, I should be glad for what we've got.

Although, this gay bishop thing -- does the phrase 11th Hour not mean a thing to them? Obviously, this was a very fine thread being pulled here, and that charge about the gay youth group website having links to porno sites (www.bisexual.com ?). . . well, I ask you, how many times have we all taken the wrong path down the wrong web site and accessed (or even received e-mail from) a porno site? What was that bibilical quote Bushie paraphrased the other day ? ... "I caution those who may try to take a speck out of the neighbor's eye when they got a log in their own."

Ok, now that I can't believe I just quoted GW Bush, I move on. As my friend Sondra pointed out to me, "It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world" and I should just listen to classical music all day and ponder how such beautiful music is created despite (or because of ?) the madness of the world.

But, I can't help myself. I'm a news junkie. Although, it's pushing it a bit to call NPR or Fox or CNN "news". What happened to investigating and reporting on what's really going on in the world, instead of what's fed to us through press releases, press handlers, communications directors... (by the way, how many of you, like moi, are glad we don't have to hear from Ari Fleisher anymore? Guess there's just only so many fabrications you have in your system before you crash-and-burn, eh?).

So, let me remind you all - there's more to life than the mainstream. Think : The Nation, The Progressive, The Onion, The Guardian. Slate. And, with props to my bud Bryan (yes, oh yes, you were right = 666! I was wrooooong), check out Common Dreams.

Chalk up another morning in the How the Gays and the Straights Really Are Alike category. My train buddy, Bryan (straight, even though he does spell his name that way) and I had a lovely chat this a.m. about, among other things, the Pennsylvania Lottery, the Phillies, child abuse, news coverage by the local papers, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It's both of our daughters' new favorite show.

The Banana (my daughter) tends to like the hair and clothes portions of the show; Madgal (his) likes the show in general and the quips. Agreed favorite to date: "Oh look, you've put a living room where the crack den used to be!" [Yes, I've used code names for our daughters to protect their still innocent lives.]

Also, I'm pretty sure the train riders this morning were mostly straight. A few of us gays were riding, but we tend to disperse ourselves amongst the populace, you know; we don't always sit together - or know each other, for that matter.

My parents are visiting. I'm pretty sure they're straight. The construction guys in the Wawa where I get my coffee, too; yep, straight. Neighbor across the street who brought me over a catalog this morning so I can buy a screen door like theirs; straight. That we can all live together in harmony and pleasantness = priceless.

So, there I was, in NYC for the weekend celebrating my birthday, having my Starbucks, reading the Times, and, lo and behold!, I discover it's the "Summer of The Gays!" Who knew? Good thing the NY Times is there to tell us all...

I say this tongue-in-cheek, of course - I mean, is there a soul alive in the U.S. who hasn't realized yet that "we're here, we're queer, we're not going away"? Entertainment Weekly has full page ads for Boys Meets Boy ("who's gay? who's straight?"). USA Today (the "people's paper") runs articles about the legal challenges, marriage, the Vatican's opposition. Good god, y'all, even NBC ran Queer Eye for the Straight Guy in its prime-time Thursday ("Must See TV"!) lineup!

So, seeing its the "Summer of The Gays," I thought I'd fill you all in on what us gays do during the summer.

Hmmm. Okay. Those of us with kids spend a lot of time at the pool or shore or lake or whatever water source we can find to cool off a bit. Some of us with disposable income (although, I've not met many lesbians in that category, and only some gay men, so I don't get what all the fuss is about) travel about - you know, to the "gay places" -- Key West, P-Town, New York, L.A., San Francisco, D.C., Erie PA, Scottsdale AZ, Salt Lake City, Richmond VA, the battlefields of Gettysburg, and Cooperstown NY -- anywhere we have family, friends, interests.

We also spend time in the summer having yard sales and block parties with our (straight!) neighbors, watching fireworks with our (straight!) friends, gardening, painting and fixing up the house, walking our dogs, coddling our cats, wondering how baseball players can make so much money yet play so poorly, and pondering how to get out of work early on those beautiful, summer days when sky is clear, the air isn't humid, and watermelon is on sale.

We try to catch the summer reruns on TV, lounge about on our stoops or porches, barbecue when we can, eat out at all the sidewalk cafes / restaurants we can find, and go to the movies : you know - those "gay" classics: Seabiscut, Bad Boys II, Legally Blonde, X-Men 2: United, American Pie Wedding (okay, so maybe we gays don't go to that one), Bend It Like Beckham, Finding Nemo. . .

Did I miss anything? If I did, just insert whatever YOU do for the summer and there you have it, it's the Summer of The People! So, the Gays are a little more visible this summer. So what? Every other summer we're inundated with straight men's beer bellies hanging over their shorts (thank you to those venues which have "t-shirts must be worn" rules); teeny, tiny g-string bathing suits on women and girls; and public displays of affection on the boardwalk, the bus, in the malls... straight men and women, flaunting their heterosexuality.

Give us the summer. It may be all we have for a while.

You know it's going to be an interesting day when you open your newspaper up and there on the front page, side-by-side, are conflicting articles about "the gays." On one side, we have the pope declaring the immorality of gays and lesbians; on the other side, we have the United Way of Southeastern Pa declaring the immorality of those who would discriminate against gays and lesbians.

Ah, freedom of the press. Of expression. Some days the irony of it all just makes me chuckle.

I must say, I am proud of "My United Way" (okay, old campaign, but fitting, doncha think?)... Pulling their funding from the Boy Scouts Cradle of Liberty chapter (note the irony inherent in their name!) in Philadelphia for, basically, being wimps. This is the chapter that first took a stand and said it would not discriminate against the gays, and then went and and outsed a gay scout who publicly declared he was, omigosh!, gay!

I must give a shout out to the man who send a Letter to the Editor, fittingly published in today's newspaper, supporting marriage rights for gays. His argument? "Life is too short." Now, where have I heard that before?

Ok, enough of the personal being the political and vice versa; the parents are visiting and we're off to A.C. to do the American thing: gamble away our hard-earned money so that Big Brother can pay lowly wages to their peons. Hope I win a few bucks! ;)

Hello and welcome to my blog* (short for web log - think: an online diary of sorts). Besides using the site to keep my family and friends up-to-date with my comings and goings, my goal is to use this site as a way to level the playing field between the "gays" and the "straights" in the U.S. - proving, once and for all, that we ("the gays") are just like everyone else... leading normal, boring lives and attending to things like laundry, making lunches, picking schools for our kids, trying to save money for a vacation, etc. So,
welcome!

Now, on to business. While I originally wanted to start a blog to air my thoughts and feelings about riding public transportation in Philadelphia ("out with the bad air, in with the good"), I realized recently -- ok, last night when Bushie called us all "sinners" -- that I have a lot more to say about the "real" State of our Union... what most of us Americans experience every day, not from our high horses on the hill.

Since I'm about to turn the big 4-oh (and proud of it, thank you very much), I've taken on the new mantra (thanks to Aunt Jo) of, "Life is short. Go ahead and eat the ice cream cone!" Roughly translated to mean, say what needs to be said, do what you've always wanted to do, why wait until tomorrow?

Thus, I've booked my flight to Vegas to vacation with my family, I'm taking off early on Monday to celebrate my daughter's 5th birthday, and, I'm gonna say what needs to be said. Today, it is this (with big props to my girl, MarcyParm): "With all the poverty, homelessness, lack of health insurance, and sadness in the world, not to mention the "war" and its needless deaths, the violence in our homes and on our streets, alcoholism, unemployment, child abuse, and on and on. . . where are our leaders?"

Bushie (didn't vote for him), Rick (him neither), that Rep. in Colorado (didn't have the chance not to vote for her)...they gotta pick on "the gays" (and I use that term affectionately)? I am offended. I'm gonna fight back. Write my letters. Call my elected officials. And, write. Just to put it out there - "I'm here, I'm queer, I have a family". . . all we (gays) want is to live decent lives, make a decent wage, have some health insurance, take care of our kids, not get spit at or frowned upon or beat up. Look out world, here we come!

= = =

Ok, me again. Just had to, see, 'cuz I listen to NPR all day and they are "reporting" that the Vatican has -- oh, my! -- come out against gay marriage. As if we didn't know this. So, the Vatican wrote a new report. That pope, he has nothing better to do either?

Now mind you, those Catholics can believe whatever they want. This IS America, land of the free and all, weren't we formed by oppressed persons yearning to be free -- of religious oppression!

But when the pope goes as far as to tell Catholic lawmakers to vote against any sort of gay marriage legislation; well, isn't that lobbying, I ask you? There's gotta be a law against that, somewheres. Although, I'm pretty sure the pope thinks he is "above the law" (unintentional reference to the bad Steven Seagal movie of the same name).

So, the pope can say these things - and the Catholics will fear that they will burn in hell if they don't vote like he sez - and, in the meantime, the hatred that is spewed forth surely breaks commandment or two. Or, if it's in the name of Christ, I guess that's okay? Now, I DO know that if any "church or religious organization devotes a substantial part of their activities to attempt to influence legislation," they may jeopardize their non-profit tax exempt status. Of course, the question is always -- how much is "substantial"?

Most of us understand that it's very hard to go against the "teachings" of your church - one of the reasons there's so many screwed up, Recovering Catholics in the world. It's like a brainwashing. That power & control the Church has over folks - it's a scary thing. So, speak out. Stand up. I implore you. If your church, your church leaders, use their pulpits to lobby or urge YOU to lobby against gay and lesbian legislation, call the IRS. 1-800-829-0433.