From the Boston Globe: "Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney replaced Democratic Senator John Kerry today [yesterday] as a speaker at a Mayors' conference in Boston, after Mr. Kerry canceled his speech because he said he did not want to cross a police union picket line."

Romney crossed the picket line.

On the Homefront, our own Mr. Mayor John Street noted that he had not crossed any picket lines in attending the conference. Not sure how that's possible, seeing as the conference is in the Sheraton Hotel and the police union is picketing outside of the hotel and . . .

Anyhoo.

In the meantime, the Mayors voted 46-44 to table the resolution that would have expressed their opposition to the Federal Marriage Amendment.

Wimps.

Today, I ventured the few blocks from my office to Philly's Gay Bookstore, Giovanni's Room.

There is a large rainbow flag out front, but that didn't deter me. Some people don't know what the rainbow flag means. However, there IS a large "Gay Marriage" poster (publicizing a new book) in the window.

I found myself, almost reflexively, looking around to see who was watching me go into the "gay bookstore."

Ah, physical memory. I remember my first visit to a gay -- ok, a "wimmin's" -- bookstore, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I had just turned 18, moved there to go to college, and ventured into the bookstore on my own. And, even though I knew NO one in town yet, I looked around to see who was watching me go into the store.

It was worse growing up gay in Erie, PA; venturing into the chain bookstore in The Mall, seeking out the 1 or 2 "gay" books to be found there ("The Front Runner," "Fancy Dancer").

I still remember the sweat collecting on my palms, the flush of my face as I (finally) made my way to the register to buy "Rubyfruit Jungle" (making sure, of course, that there no one in the bookstore I knew), the knowing look on the cashier's face as he said he hoped I liked the book.

I thought those days were past; but, I guess not. Good thing Giovanni's room gives plain brown paper bags!

So, my neighbor sez to me yesterday, "I had to go to Wal-Mart this week to find shoes for Lilaloo" (her daughter, Tha Banana's best friend).

I understand her need to find the best shoes (or, in our case, SOMEthing her daughter would wear) at the best price.

However, lest we forget how much of the world those Waltons own, I hereby give you Forbes' 2004 List of the World's Richest People. This list is in billions, people!

1. William Gates III, Washington, 48, $46.6, Microsoft
2. Warren Buffett, Nebraska, 73, $42.9, Berkshire Hathaway
3. Karl Albrecht, Germany, 84, $23, supermarkets
4. Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud, Saudi Arabia, 47, $21.5
5. Paul Allen, Washington, 51, $21, Microsoft, investments
6. Alice Walton, Texas, 55, $20, Wal-Mart
7. Helen Walton, Arkansas, 84, $20, Wal-Mart
8. Jim Walton, Arkansas, 56, $20, Wal-Mart
9. John Walton, Arkansas, 58, $20, Wal-Mart
10. S. Robson Walton, Arkansas, 60, $20, Wal-Mart

Those kooky Waltons - spreading out their money between them so they hold spots #6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 this year when one of them could easily be #1 (with a bullet, as they say).

They only hold about $100 billion of the world's cash! [And this is supposedly after they give away whatever they need to give away for tax purposes!]

Just think: 1,000 other people could be millionaires! 2,000 non-profit organizations could be granted $500,000 each! 40,000 families of 4 could rise above the federal poverty level!

Dang. I try to take a "day off" from the news, the radio, politics in general - and what happens?

Gov. Mitt Romney of Massachusettes goes and testifies before the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee (yesterday) against same-sex marriage, noting that, "Marriage is principally for the nurturing and development of children. The children of America have the right to have a father and a mother."

[For the full text of his testimony : Mitty's Madness (my phrasing)]

Oh. Where do I begin?

Guess I'll be writing the honorable governor and giving him a few choice words of my own, possibly about Teaching The Children of America About Tolerance, Acceptance, Civility, Equality, maybe even a bit about "hate-mongering" (and how it hurts all children, not just those of LGBT parents).

Yeah. That's the ticket.

Care to join me?

E-mail: GOffice@state.ma.us
Phone: (617) 725-4000
Fax: (617) 727-9725

Address:
The Honorable Mitt Romney
State House Room 360
Boston, MA 02133

Today, some Tidbits from My Life As A Parent:

Cool things they didn't have when I was a little girl:

Glitter glue

Tye dye shirts (we had to make our own!)

Magnetic games and activity kits for long car trips (we just usually played the Alphabet Game or Name the State Capitals)

Hole punchers with star and heart shapes

E-Bay, Freecycle, and the rest - for scooping up used toys, books, puzzles cheap or free (we only had yard sales at which to get lucky)

Cool things they didn't even have 5 years ago, when The Banana was born:

Strollers with built-in Cup Holders for The Parent's Coffee ! (you should have seem me juggle ;)

Backyard swing sets with Rock Climbing units !

In my local paper (the Inky) each Friday, one of my favorite sports reporters does a "round-up" of the week, usually in a snarky tone of voice. I think I'll follow suit. . . Tidbits From My Week :

Walked through Love Park this morning. No one was "going wireless" (inside Philly joke).

Read that they plan to close a number of Boston streets when the Dems are in town this summer. Who the heck do they think cares about Kerry ? We all wanna Get Bush !

Anyone know why Showtime continues to promote "The L-Word" (via Pride events, new ads on TV, etc.) when it won't be airing again until NEXT FEBRUARY ?

Looks like the GOP is back on its Constitutional Amendment kick, trying to get it up for a vote this summer. Like, they don't have enough to worry about right now - with the War in Iraq, the economy / deficit, and unemployment on the rise (regardless of what they "report" in the mainstream news) ?

And, isn't it interesting that Bushie's back pontificating about stem cell research? If I recall, there was that big, live-on-TV, press conference he held (shortly before 9/11) that had the whole country abuzz. Why return to the subject now, when there's a war on - the "direct" result of 9/11? Trying to deflect our attention, Mr. B?

So, The Gal & I seem to be in this place where we are both looking for new jobs right now (long story).

Since there is some stress in our lives, I did something I normally would not do, to try to allviate it:

I called in to a radio show to talk to an astrologer.

Actually, two astrologers - who were on my favorite new radio show "OutQ in the Morning" with Cheryl, Larry and Butch. [Sirius Network channel 149]

Everyone who had been calling in this morning got some pretty good info about their futures. What could it hurt, I thought.

I'm a Leo. She's a Pisces. We're a good match, they said. Job-wise, though, not a good time to be looking.

So much for that.

The offices of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) are closed today - in memory of all those lost to AIDS.

This, in response to Bushie's calling for a federal government closure and a national day of mourning for former President Ronald Reagan.

I'm ahead of the game, folks (see my post from Wednesday re: Reagan, AIDS, and memorializing those we've lost).

Personally, I'm upset that the U.S. Postal Service is closed and it might affect my weekend delivery of my latest Netflix pick!

P.S. Many thanks to Train Buddy Bryan for reminding me today about Air America and the "O'Frankin Factor" radio show at noon. Al Frankin's covering Reagan's service. I haven't heard anything this funny in a very long time.

Since I can't take another day of listening to radio hosts memorialize Ronald Reagan, I decided to take a foray into satellite radio today.

I was going to try to find the new "liberal" radio station, but opted instead for OUT-Q on the Sirius Network.

[The Sirius Network, by the way, will be airing a special program on Reagan later in the week, and I keep having to hear ads for it; but at least the show I'm listening to isn't talking about him at all.]

So, I started my day with Out-Q In The Morning - with Larry, Cheryl and Butch - a talk show somewhat in the vein of Howard Stern, but less gross. Radio hosts talking about whatever radio hosts want to talk about, from a gay sensibility.

Actually, with a good deal of gay content, i.e. Megan Mullally receiving a GLAAD award, is one of the Carter boys closeted, you get the idea. Catty gossip, lots of pop culture references, etc.

Interspersed with some national news, brought to us by The Advocate; and (!) sports news. Wow! Never thought I'd get last night's baseball scores from an LGBTQ source!

Today, while most of the country wept for former President Reagan, I remembered some of my friends who died of AIDS.

Joaquin - the beautiful Kindergarden teacher

Billy - his partner, a stylish architect

Donald - Olivia Newton-John fan, and friend

I used to keep a notepad with the names of friends, acquaintances, famous people who had died of AIDS - especially during the Reagan years, when inaction by his administration led to their further demise.

It got to be too much, so I stopped.

I often wonder how many of them would still be alive today, if, say, AIDS was caused by:

male erectile dysfunction

the BRCA-1 or BRCA-2 gene

a non-Atkins diet

If there IS a Heaven (or any sort of karmic justice), however, I'd love to be there today. . .

. . . to see my friend John - out, proud, loud Activist that he was/is - meet Mr. Reagan at the pearly gates. I'm sure John would have quite a few things to say to him, and it wouldn't be pretty.

I'm smiling just thinking about it :)

Tidbits from my weekend :

Spent most of the weekend in the Italian Market area of South Philly. I haven't been hit on by that many men in a long time (maybe never)!

Caught a bit of the women's pro bike race held here in Philly. Great sprint to the finish. Heard the men's race was the same. Cool!

Got whupped by a 9-year old boy in Stratego Friday night. Oh well, MY game was always "Risk".

And - I'm tired already of hearing what a "great guy" Ronald Reagan was. To me, he was all about Iran-Contra and not doing a thing about the AIDS epidemic.

Oh yeah, and he fired all the air traffic controllers (yet still had his name enshrined at National Airport - much to the chagrin of labor leaders).

Why I Dislike Both the Dems and the GOP These Days

The Bushies want churches this summer to "get out the vote" (presumably, for GOP candidates) and urge parishoners to be politically active this year. Basically, shout it from the mountaintop -- er, pulpit.

Didn't I write about separation of church and state in one of my very first Blog posts?

The local Dems - okay, our unbeloved Mayor and his crony of a Managing Director - once again have proved that politics is merely a game (you know, of who has the bigger cahones). In a nutshell:

Love Park, an icon among skateboarders worldwide, and pretty much of a park frequented only by the homeless, locally, was deemed "off limits" to skateboarders last year.

City officials cited the costs of damage to the property (mostly ugly grey, granite benches and such).

Skateboarders and friends unite; lobby the City. Offer to raise money for repairs and create a cool cafe and skateboard shop in the old visitor's center (an eyesore that has been shut down and empty for a year).

Infamous City Planner Edmund Bacon (who practically created Center City, Love Park, etc.) urges the City to keep Love Park the skateboard mecca that it is.

Then yesterday -- DC Shoes offers the City $1M for any repairs over the next 10 years if the City reopens the Park to skateboarders.

The City's response? Basically, take that $1M and shove it.

So, more about this Logo network, all-gay, all-the-time (my words).

It's a sorry state of affairs if us gays and lesbians have to mull about for another 9 months or so for more gay programming! (Logo won't start until Feb 2005 -- and "The L-Word" won't be back until March 2005 !)

I mean, I've been waiting 20+ some years!

Ah, I remember Back In The Day.

Staying up until 1:00 a.m. to catch the late, late movie in my small town. . .

. . .movies like "That Certain Summer" (Hal Holbrook, Martin Sheen, gay dads!) and "A Question of Love" (Gena Rowlands as a lesbian mom! Jane Alexander as her partner. Controversy over the scene where Jane brushes Gena's hair in a loving fashion!)

. . .and late night television shows like "Soap" (Billy Crystal as the cross-dressing character of Jody) and "Hot L Baltimore".

Ah, those were the days.

Logo promises to bring such classic films and shows back to TV, air other lesbian and gay films, television shows, and maybe even a produce a daily or weekly news program.

As long as I don't have to stay up late anymore! (Hey! I'm a tired mom now!)

Did you hear? MTV Networks plans to launch an "all-gay" all-the-time cable television channel called Logo.

[I don't know. Don't ask ME why they called it that.]

Looks like the world IS going to hell in a handbasket.

But, while the sky is falling - I, for one, WILL be tuning in to Logo : assuming that my local cable TV provider (who shall remain nameless, lest I have to pay them some hidden fee) will offer it with Basic Cable on not on Digital Cable.

This is their ploy, you see. Whenever I call to ask why they don't carry a channel that I'm interested in -- Oxygen, Independent Film Channel, Much Music, WE-Women's Entertainment -- they always tell me that the channel is offered only on Digital Cable which, of course, costs more.

I already pay enough to my cable company. This is what I get in return :

Spike TV - you know, the channel targeted to manly men. Shows a lot of WWE wrestling, motor car events, reruns of Ren and Stimpy, the original "Joe Schmoe" show, you get the point.

Lots of (too many?) sports channels - and, while I am a sports fan, I don't need the Golf Channel, the Speed Channel, 2 ESPNs, the local cable sports channel which also airs Fox Sports programming, AND the Outdoor Life Channel - which often has fishing and hunting shows.

3 (!) religious (read: Christian) channels -- Trinity Broadcast Network, Pax TV, and Eternal Word (Global Catholic Programming) TV Network; 2 Spanish-language channels (do they ever air anything other than soap operas?); blah, blah, blah.

I can't wait for more "alternative" programming !

Back from another road trip, this time to North West PA - Elk County, in the midst of the Allegheny Forest.

In case you're wondering how diverse a state Pennsylvania really is, all you need to do is travel from Philly to Elk County. It's quite a shock to the system.

We entered towns and were welcomed with signs like the following:

Welcome to so-and-so; where mothers have children, not choices.

Register for the NRA conference here.

Hunt safely.

Small town America. I spent an afternoon playing "Spot the Dyke." I think I counted 2 (not inclusive of family members). At least 1. The other had a wedding band. But, in western PA, that doesn't mean much.

It's true. We're invisible, after all.

Perhaps this explains why my uncle (the accepting one!), when introducing family members to a large crowd gathered to remember another uncle who recently passed away, neglected to mention either My Gal or My Aunt's Gal.

Even though he did introduce my brother's wife, my cousins' wives, and he even mentioned my brother-who-wasn't-even-there-and-HIS-wife.

Maybe it's 'cuz we're not married! ;)

So, while I was away (celebrating!) a mere 10+ days ago in Massachusetts, here on the Homefront. . .

. . . some PA state legislators (the same ones who sponsored the state's Defense of Marriage Act back in the day) filed a lawsuit against the two gay men who tried to get a marriage license in New Hope!

Yes. They're Republicans (for the most part - except for one Dem from Cambria County).

I recall hearing this on the radio at some point during our trip; and I even recall mentioning it to The Gal. But, we were in too much bliss to pay it any mind.

Today, reality sets in.

It always seems as if it's "two steps forward, one step back" in the fight for civil rights, eh?

Well, let's put away the Baby Steps and get out the Mommy / Giant Steps - thar's a battle brewin' in my home state, and it's gettin' personal!

For the record, here are their names:

Allan Egolf (R., Perry)
Gibson C. Armstrong R., Lancaster)
Matthew E. Baker (R., Tioga)
Thomas C. Creighton (R., Lancaster)
Gordon Denlinger (R., Lancaster)
Stephen R. Maitland (R., Adams)
Daryl Metcalfe (R., Butler)
Merle H. Phillips (R., Northumberland)
Samuel R. Rohrer (R., Berks)
Jerry A. Stern (R., Blair)
Katie True (R., Lancaster)
Thomas F. Yewcic (D., Cambria)

During my train ride back from New York this week, I wrote a little "essay" about my visit (I was on the "quiet car"). Here it is:

I. Assumptions

When I was in college, one of my roommate’s favorite songs was the Monkees’ “Laugh”, especially the line, “Laugh when you go to a party and you can’t tell the boys from the girls.”

Because, of course, the assumption at the time (the sixties) was that all men had short hair and all women had long hair.

I ran straight up against a few of my own assumptions this week when I visited a friend in New York City.

The first came while I was at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Center. I was sitting in a chair on the first floor, under the stairwell. As a group that was meeting on the second floor began to disburse, I heard the clicking sound of numerous high heels making their way down the stairs.

Ah, I thought. A meeting of drag queens.

Wrong I was. When I snuck a peek up the stairs, I found that the sound was emanating - yes - from high heels; but, on women. Lesbians!

Many of the women were in “business drag” – three piece suits with skirts; dresses; skirts and blouses. It was a meeting of the lesbian and gay business professionals group.

My second awakening came the next morning as I was leaving my friend’s apartment building on the Upper West Side.

On the elevator ride to the lobby, I encountered two young women on their way to school.

As I was tired from a late night out, my eyes were drooping and I only caught sight of them from the waist level down.

I was noticing one of the girls’ modest shoes (low heels, closed-toes), purse, and sensible slacks. Hmmm, I thought, how nice to see a young teenager not exposing their toe ring, or navel, or butt cheeks.

Before my eyes could continue upward, the girl spoke to her friend - in a much deeper voice than I had expected.

As my eyes darted up towards her mid section and beyond, I noticed what appeared to be developing breasts, shoulder-length hair (that seemed, to me, to be a wig) – and, an Adam’s apple.

Unwilled, my eyebrows rose.

As the girls left the elevator and ran ahead of me, I saw them look back and giggle - presumably at the unsuspecting visitor who had, most likely, never seen a transgendered / transitioning youth before.

I felt terrible. I wanted to catch up with them and tell them that I wasn’t staring. I was only surprised because I was half asleep.

That I was a cool, lesbian mom who even had discussions with her partner before the birth of our child about our thoughts regarding gender reassignment surgery (we’re opposed).

I saw “Normal” on HBO. Loved “Rene’s Story” on Showtime. I embrace the transgender community.

It’s not prejudice they saw. My hidden assumptions gave me away.


II. Representation

The reason I was in New York in the first place was to attend a talk at the Museum of Radio and Television entitled, “No Limits: A Look at ‘Queer As Folk’ (‘QAF’) and ‘The L-Word’.”

Much has been said about ‘The L-Word’ (and, to some extent, ‘QAF’) about how the lesbians and gay men on each show are portrayed.

One camp feels that ‘The L-Word’ does not go far enough to show the broad spectrum of the lesbian community – the butches, the disabled, the overweight, the Asians, etc.

Others (myself included) feel that this is a television show; a suspension of reality for a few, brief (too brief) moments each week.

Bring on the beautiful women and men, I say!

The producers of both shows described how they are telling the stories of very particular groups of friends. That to try to represent the entire LGBT community would be untrue to the characters and their stories.

As their stories and lives unfold (at least in the case of ‘The L-Word’), naturally we’ll begin to see a wider range of the “types” of people in the lives of the main characters.

Admit it, folks. Who among us hasn’t said to his friends (or thought, anyway - or even wrote in a personal ad), “No chubbies.”

Show me the lesbian who would rather watch Rosie & Kelli kiss than Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman.

Robert Gant, one of the stars of QAF, noted that a fan once came up to him and commented that, “all the gay guys in Pittsburgh have such great teeth and go to the gym a lot.”

Those of us who have been to Pittsburgh certainly know this is not true.

Those of us who can separate TV from reality, also know this is not true.

Straight (and some gay) people make assumptions about gay people all of the time. Women are butches; men are effeminate. Lesbians all work construction jobs; gay men are all hairdressers.

I doubt that anyone would call Robert Gant (who has had fans not believe that he was gay in real life) or Gale Herrold effeminate. The women of ‘The L-Word’ are more a collection of femmes than butches. And Shane - a lesbian - is the hairdresser.

If these shows can break down the assumptions of even a handful of people, isn’t it worth the effort?

Maybe along the way, we’ll break down a few of our own.

Today, the Angry Activist in me has taken control. So much going on, not enough time in the world to address it all; so, I'll pick and choose:

On the local front, state legislators in Harrisburg today are going to consider some anti-LGBT amendments to a bill, including those that would strengthen the state's DOMA and bar the state from providing benefits to domestic partners, among other things.

On the national front, our favorite U.S. Senator Rick-y Boy has vowed to take the FMA to a vote before the fall election (even though it does not have the 67 votes needed to send the resolution to the states).

His "homies" - the GOP - put out a Memorial Day Recess packet which included talking points on gay marriage, which went something like this:

-- "This (same sex marriage) is a national crisis that requires a national response - a federal constitutional amendment."

-- And, No. 3 of the Top Five Reasons to Defend Marriage, acc'd to the GOP: "Redefining marriage sends a terrible message to the next generation: alternative family forms are just as good as traditional families, and children don't need mothers and fathers."

Wait! It gets worse! Since we're on the subject of gays and kids, a new FDA rule went into effect yesterday (did you hear about this ?) prohibiting 'men who have engaged in homosexual sex within the past five years' from making anonymous donations to sperm banks! (Supposedly to save the world from AIDS. Like, the virus is only transmitted through 'gay sex'!) Ohmygod, is it the 1980s again?

Another thing I quite enjoyed about NYC = the use of the acronym LGBT (as opposed to GLBT).

Now, MV, you may say; what does it matter if the "L" (Lesbian) is before the "G" (Gay - as in Gay Man)- or vice versa?

Well, if you're a Lesbian (with a capital L), you get pretty sick and tired of always seeing GLBT, as if, as usual, the "men" come first.

Takes me back to the days when The Advocate was the nation's leading "gay" newsmagazine and there was the big brouhaha over them adding "and lesbian" to their tag line.

Chalk this up under "it's a guy thing". Case in point : those places that utilize "GLBT" :

LPI Media, the publisher of both The Advocate and Out - publisher = male. President = male.

Editor of Out magazine = male.

Philadelphia Gay News publisher and editor = male.

Planet Out Inc, owner and operator of PlanetOut.com and Gay.com - CEO = male. President = male.

Those that utilize "LGBT" :

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Center of . . . New York (!); also, of San Francisco, Milwaukee, Stanford University, Duke, etc.

NGLTF - the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force - current Executive Director (and many past) = female.

Family Pride Coalition executive director = female. (They also have 2 co-chairs of the Board : one male, one female - for, imagine ! - gendar parity)

GLAAD - the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation - Executive Director = female. (Also, 2 co-chairs, one male/one female, of the board).

Get the point?

Spent the late afternoon and evening in N.Y.C. yesterday. Sometimes, I feel very lucky to be me. So, I haven't visited Europe (yet!), or hit the lottery. But, how many of you can say you've :

Attended a rehearsal of the NY Gay Men's Chorus and been moved to chills by their rendition of "I Am What I Am" ? -- OR --

Been serenaded by gay men in a piano bar ? (With the song "Maria" from West Side Story -- duh !)

However, why is it that everytime I visit The Big Apple, I find myself in the middle of a schvitz? (And I don't mean the good kind).

I sweat, I drool, I drag. My clothes stick. My hair is drenched. Not just in the summer, either! Always!

Thank the goddess my NY friend Mark has central air.