Anyone who knows me, knows that I quite dislike being told what to do. (Or, what I can or cannot do.)

You see, I have the unfortunate experience of working in a Center City building across from the Loews Hotel where John Kerry was speaking this morning. When I attempted to leave my office to have a cigarette in front of my building -which, by the way, is private property- I was told I could not go outside because "the area needed to be sanitized."

Is this what our democracy is coming to? Where are our individual freedoms? The right to assembly? Obviously, not on the sidewalk in the city where the U.S. Constitution was forged!

Had I not a grant proposal to get back to, I would have risked being arrested for expressing my basic civil rights. Then I remembered the activists from the Summer of The Republicans, who were “held indefinitely” by the city after expressing their right to assemble and their right to free speech.

I kind of want to be home tonight to watch “Friends”!

Promotion? The hulabaloo is all about the television ads for Be My Baby?

I think they're missing the point here.

It's not so much as how they're talking about the "competition" among five couples to adopt one child - like "Survivor" with babies - but also the action itself of the process and putting it on television. . . basically, exploiting these couples, this baby, the pregnant teenager.

Granted, they all put themselves out there. Who wouldn't? It's your 15-minutes of fame. And, for one lucky couple, the "grand prize" - a long-awaited child.

I like what Gloria Hochman of the National Adoption Center had to say : "It's not a service to portray a child as a commodity."

Oh that Barbara Walters. Ever since "The View" (in my estimation, one of the worst TV shows ever), I haven't been able to take her very seriously.

Now, it seems, she's hosting a special "reality show" called Be My Baby - with a premise that I first thought couldn't be true until I did some research on it.

You see, there I was, mindlessly watching TV the other night when my eye caught part of a commercial about the upcoming show. Hmmm, I thought. Cute baby. Nice families. Adoption? My ears perked up.

Then, the voiceover : "Five couples desperate to adopt, all competing for her baby. Four will lose, one will get the baby of their dreams."

How totally and insanely inappropriate for television, the families involved, that poor child who will grow up and whose parents will probably have the video saved for posterity and show it to every friend or potential friend of the child, etc.

But, most of all, how sad for those four families who will not be adopting this child; to have their deepest hopes and fears and that moment of "reality" (when they are not selected as a parent) broadcast on national TV!

Hmmm.... 2 women or 2 men kissing on TV gets "parental advisory suggested." THIS show gets prime time during sweeps week.

Where's Standards & Practices when you need them?

More on The March :

Some Young Women Activists With Whom I Work report that this occured: a friend of theirs was holding up a large sign in front of one of those gross, disgusting signs that a male Anti was holding up. The Anti got mad and started bopping the young woman on the head with her own sign. Ironically, the sign said "Stop Violence Against Women."

The Boss heard a radio report today calling it the Million Muff March.

My busmates were all surprised that my sister-in-law's 13 year old, hip, Main Line daughter had never heard "the C-word" before and had to ask what it meant.

One of my favorite t-shirts from the march : "I rode a Freedom Bus to the March for Reproductive Rights."

Oh, and did I tell you, The Banana was allowed to purchase one button. She chose a very nice Black Power fist button. I'm so proud I could cry!

Still listening to My NPR (not to be confused with My WaWa>, even though I know I can get Democracy Now on the Internet. While I might try for a switch eventually (like my train buddy Bryan), today, I'm catching up on the news.

"Day to Day" ran a nice piece today about same sex marriange. Although a judge ruled last Tuesday that Multnomah County, Oregon must stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, he also noted that the 3,022 marriage licenses issued to same-sex couples since March 3 are legally valid !

NPR is also reporting that "hundreds of thousands" marched on Washington yesterday for "abortion rights." I don't know about the other women and men who were marching, but I was marching for WOMEN'S LIVES and the FULL platform which also included : Choice, Justice, Access, Health, Global Rights, and Family Planning.

Oh, and there seemed like there were at least a million of us or more (as march organizers were reporting - as opposed to the lesser numbers NPR was reporting . . . maybe they think they're the U.S. Park Police who we all know had a history of "underestimating" numbers of marchers in D.C.)

Interestingly enough, even though tomorrow is Primary Election Day in Pennsylvania, the only item NPR has reported all day (besides the old news that "the Toomey-Spector race is close" is to remember to take photo I.D. with you when you vote. They'll be checking them this year! Like they're supposed to do every year (you know, so those Philadelphia ghosts don't vote) !

Went to the March on Washington for Women's Lives today with about a million other women (and a few assorted men).

Took our young budding feminist daughter, The Banana. Was surprised there weren't more moms and daughters or families there.

Don't get me wrong - there were some. But it seemed there were more at the less-well attended LGBT March on Washington a few years ago. That gathering even had a safe, secure, fun Family Area. Today, we had the carousel.

And those Anti's. . . with the horrifying pictures of mangled (and seemingly full-term) babies. In large, living color.

There oughta be a law against that sort of public display. We had to cover The Banana's eyes!

Then there was the guy holding the sign "John 3:16" - which refers to the passage in the New Testament noting "that God so loved the world that he (sic) sent his only son. . ."

. . . basically, to his (only son's) death.

Ironic, isn't it?

This item is too interesting not to print the headline that ran with the article in today's Inky : "A high five for the straight guy" (are they trying to compete with their sister paper ? ;)

Tonight, Mayor Street will receive the AIDS Funds' "2004 Favorite Straight Person of the Year."

How true, in love and politics, memories fade so easily.

Hello, people ! ? Let's review. . . (I'll skip a lot of the Catholic Church and Black Clergy's extremely homophobic actions and go right to the heart of the matter here: John Street).

When Mr. Street was City Council President, and then-Mayor Ed Rendell passed an Executive Order that granted domestic partnership benefits to a whole whopping 500 City employees, what did Mr. Street do?

Mr. Street strategized to oppose the Executive Order and, using his power and influence as City Council President, introduced a bill to place a non-binding referendum on the Nov. 1996 ballot as to whether domestic partnership benefits should be provided at taxpayer expense. President Street assigned the bill to the Rules Committee for hearings, a committee which he chaired.

Early that summer, Mr. Street joined forces with The Dev... oops, Mr. Devlin himself in a radio debate against Andrew Park of the Center for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights. (It's safe to say, "they" lost the debate. At one point, Mr. Street was speechless. Imagine!)

In the following weeks, his bill narrowly gets passed in the Rules Committee, he has to call a special session of City Council (about to go on "summer break") if he wants to pass the legislation. Political pressure ensues. Street backs down and cancels the special session.

Then - and here's my favorite part of the story - Mr. Street filed a lawsuit - as an individual, as a married resident of the city of Philadelphia, as a straight male - against Ed Rendell claiming that the Executive Order was discriminatory (against other individual, married straight residents of the City).

And kept at it - even as his lawsuit was dismissed by the Court of Common Pleas and, after he appealed the decision, the Commonwealth Court.

I also recall a lot of animosity of the LGBT community on his part, as he sided with the very homophobic rantings of Cardinal Bevilaqua and members of the Black Clergy.

Now, I ask you, why does anyone think Mr. Street's recent "work" with the LGBT community here means he's changed his tune? It's all politics. You really think he appointed out-gay-black-man-with-no-experience Michael Williams as head of the Minority Business Council because he is the best man for the job? Or that the Seventh Day Adventist in him really has compassion for our cause? (We're all going to hell in his mind, you know!).

So, the City is finally argued it domestic partnership case before the State Supreme Court in Devlin et al. vs the City of Philadelphia.

You remember Devlin - he's the guy who heads up the right-wing "christian" group Urban Family Council. Sued the city as a heterosexual guy, noting that the city is creating a "marriage-like institution" (as if !) which should only be allowed between - you know the rest of the argument here, say it with me: "one man, one woman."

For the record - and I speak as one of those who is a registered domestic partner in the City of Philadelphia - we got a whopping 4 rights with domestic partnerships here in Philly:

the honor of being able to register as life-partners in a city registry

protection, as "life partners," under the city's anti-discrimination law (which leaves me wondering, what about all of the other LGBT non-registered life partners in the city -- or those who visit the city -- or . . .)

if one of us dies or we break up, we'll get a real estate transfer tax break (assuming we own joint property), and

should we have some disposable income lying around and our partner happens to work for the City of Philadelphia, we can also receive health benefits through the city's policy.

Woo hoo. Marriage-schmarriage. My foot.

My favorite part of the story: Mr. Devlin (ya think anyone ever slips up and calls him by another name that starts with D-E-V. . . ?) took a moment to lead a prayer vigil to (his) God before the arguments in court.

I'm guessing that would be The Homophobic God that hears his prayers. MY God (Shekina these days, and those of you who've read "DaVinci Code" know what I mean !), a Loving God, would want me to be treated like my neighbor, like my fellow man/woman.

Me again. Sorry it's been a while, I've been busy waiting for spring. And, reading a lot (see below). But, have a few things to say, as usual.

On NPR today: they interviewed a lesbian parent who couldn't understand why anyone thought she and her partner of many years shouldn't get married - why, it seemed, they were pushing the gay agenda on the rest of the country. Her response: her only "gay" agenda that morning was trying to get her daughter to wear a clean skirt instead of the dirty, full of holes, pink one she insisted on wearing. I can relate.

Caught some of The Masters (golf tourney) on TV yesterday. Made The Gal watch a bit of it with me (and let me tell you, she hates golf). It was very exciting, the Back Nine. Two aces (holes-in-ones) within 10 minutes of each other. Phil wins with a sweeeeeeet putt on the 18th. Great shot of him hugging his curly-haired daughter (and, like all parents like to do, taking out her binky for the cameras).

Have been reading all of the Dan Brown ("DaVinci Code") books lately. Awesome thrillers. I highly recommend all of them - "Angels and Demons" (my fave, the prequel to DaVinci Code), "Deception Point" (very good, esp. if you like science, biology, SETI, etc.), and "Digital Fortress" (esp. for any techies among us, or if you like cryptology). I guarantee you won't be able to put them down!

The lesbian in me recently has become addicted to not only "The L-Word" (which had it's final 2004 episode last night, and has left me wanting more of course - and the DVD won't be out until the fall!) . . . but, Queer As Folk as well. Now, you may know how I just loved the Brit. version and refused to watch the U.S. version, esp. when I realized the first 4 episodes were exactly like the Brit version. But, I have been getting into Season 3 in anticipation for the start of Season 4 (this Sunday) and am quite into the story lines, characters, etc. (Now I gotta go back to Season 2 to see some of what I've missed!)

The MOM in me watched, in dismay, the recent Brittany Spears concert special (hey, it was on before L-Word and I had to get the timing right on my VCR). . . and I will say this about that: The Banana will NOT be going to any of her concerts any time soon! Pre-teens go to these shows? It was all sex, sex, skimpy clothes, more sex, simulated sex, and canned singing. I'm not shocked easily. This shocked me, though. She's barely "of legal" age herself. (Janet, now that's another story. . .)

Again, apologies from me for not having written much lately. Have been very busy with work and life. You know how it is. I'm here, today, however to share some trinkets of my life with you all, once again.

Woo hoo. Go St. Joe's. The Hawk Will Never Die 'Nuf said.

Feeling old lately. A co-worker recently asked me what "slash/femme fanfic" was. Had no clue. Looked it up on the 'Net. Intriguing.

From the pages of "feeling old" pt. II. . . went to a local pub last night, didn't know half the songs being played on the juke box. When I was young, I vowed I'd never get too old not to be up on all the current tunes. Waaaaah!

That new Brittany Spears tune is catchy, though. Does anyone else think the electrified string riff sound like something out of "Revenge of the Nerds" ? (You know, when they form a band and win over the campus, taking power away from the nasty frat boys)

Can you tell I've been watching "I Love the 80s" on VH-1 lately?

I know, I know. I haven't written in a while. Am kind of getting burned out on the whole Gay Marriage thing. Not quite into hoops yet. Have kind of been distracted by the Mass Media.

And, I think I'm addicted to "American Idol."

I just had to watch the 2-hour, final-12-contestant special. I can't explain why, but I really like Jon Peter. Maybe it's the Elvis thing. But I think the really good voices belong to Amy (but she didn't show it last night), Fantasia, and LaToya (my pick!).

Also, I've been spending time reading a great book lately, "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown (of "The DaVinci Code" - next on my reading list). A thriller! And, I just finished a good one, "The Anthrax Letters." (Guess who I borrowed that one from!)

Plus, we've subscribed to Net Flix and have to make sure we make time each week to watch the DVDs we rent, including "Kimba, The White Lion" (1966 versions), which The Banana just adores.

For us adults, I just went through the first season of "MI-5" ("Spooks" in the U.K.) - awesome - and we have "Lost In Translation" to get through this week. . .seeing as, like most parents we know, we hadn't seen any of the films up for Academy Awards (except, of course, "Finding Nemo") and now feel like we need to go back and rent them.

So, that's my life right now. It's cold, it's snowing, I'm being a Couch Potato.

So, I've been so busy writing about from my Activist hat, I almost forgot it's March. And that means . . . March Madness !

It's been hard to get excited about college hoops these days, as my Marquette boys lost in their conference tourney (N.I.T. here we come); as did the Marquette women (bubble team for NCAA ?).

St. Joe's men just lost last night; and the St. Joe's women dropped another close one to Temple, for the A-10 conference championship. The Hawks needed that win to be the automatic bid into the NCAA tourney. Another bubble year.

Plus, my high school girls team, Villa, lost in the western PA quarterfinals. No going to Hershey this year.

But, on the other hand. . . the Phillies are lookin' good this year!

Happy International Women's Day! What am I doing to "celebrate"? Well, besides having the day off from work, I'm . . .

. . . pondering this Martha Stewart thing! I mean, is this rampant sexism and celebrity-ism or what? Are any of the rich white men involved in this insider trading looking at 20 years time? Noooo. How 'bout that assistant of her broker - the one who made the phone call to her telling her the "inside information" on ImClone - HE'S getting federal immunity from prosecution!

. . . preparing for tonight's Indigo Girls concert. How you might ask? As usual. Listening ONLY to IG music today. Caught their appearance on the "Today" show. Tyring to select which concert t-shirt I will wear. Salivating over my 12th row, end-seats.

. . . sewing. Really. Just 'cuz I'm a lesbian doesn't mean I can't sew. I went to an all-girls high school; I took Home Ec; I can set a table with the best of them. Actually, I'm "mending." Five-year olds who go to kindergarten in the woods come home with lots of holes in their clothing!

. . . wondering where the rest of the high-profile lesbians are re: this whole Marriage thing. Poor Rosie; getting bashed again for being public about being gay and going to S.F. to marry. Where's Martina? Where's Melissa? Where's Ellen? k.d.? Jodie Foster (wait! she's not gay!). Senator Barbara Mikulski (wait! her too!). Or, how about somebody who might actually have some sway with this administration (no, not Barbara & Jenna). . . Mary Cheney!

San Francisco. New Paltz, New York. Multnomah County, Oregon. Forget Massachusetts, these communities are paving their own way in the Great Gay Marriage Debate.

Act Up! Fight Back!

So, there are some activists left in the community. I thought we had all shriveled up, gotten old, had kids, and nested. But, we are the graduates, after all, of ACT UP! and Queer Nation and The Lesbian Avengers.

We're Here! We're Queer! We're Out 'n' Proud, Get Used to It!

Funny it takes a little thing like the denial of our basic civil rights (and a few decades of debate) to get the ball rolling again.

= = = = =

Meanwhile, on the Homefront, Montgomery County (PA) District Attorney (running for state Attorney General) Bruce Castor had this to say when his Register of Wills asked for an opinion on issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples:

! Castor told Pierce (Register of Wills) that she and her office would potentially face criminal liability in issuing a marriage license to a gay or lesbian couple. !

! Castor also noted that any couple holding themselves out to be married for the sake of receiving marriage-related privileges available in Pennsylvania could be charged with fraud in a criminal prosecution. !

“There should be no ‘Rosie O’Donnell’ weddings in Pennsylvania, and there won’t be if I’m the Attorney General,” Castor said.

What a Butthead with a Capital "B."

By the way, he's a Republican (surprise, surpise)!

Things I Did Yesterday, part deux

So, yesterday, I had a News-Free day. No radio, no newspaper, no talking about newsworthy items, etc.

It was lovely.

Today, I did not.

In fact, today, I sat through an hour of a call-in radio show about, you guessed it, gay marriage! Specifically, the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA) to only allow marriage to be between one man and one woman.

I did glean one interesting thing out of the show, however : the purpose of almost every other amendment to the U.S. Constitution (except Prohibition) -- real (Votes for Women) or proposed (the ERA) -- were to gain or secure rights for citizens, not take them away (like the FMA would).

Think about it!

Things I Did Yesterday - A Day in the Life of A Real-Live Lesbian Partner/Mother

Woke up. Brushed my teeth. Took a shower. Kissed my 5-year old daughter "good morning" and talked about what we wanted to buy her other mom, my partner, for her birthday.

Ran for the train. Talked about the Phillies' prospects with my Train Buddy Bryan. Double checked my calendar for meetings and "things to do today."

Had my coffee. Read my e-mails. Returned phone messages. Ate lunch. Earned my keep. Caught the train home. Got picked up by My Gal and The Banana. Had dinner. Tried not to have anything from "the treat box."

Watched some of "Wizard of Oz" on DVD with The Banana. Cuddled on the couch (she was scared by the witch - who isn't? I say!). Did some crossword problems. Kissed the girls goodnight as we read an Arthur chapter book. Watched "American Idol" (like half of America). Went to bed.

Got up to do it all again today.

Tell me, exactly HOW does MY LIFE threaten the lives of our elected heterosexual representatives? How does my family unit threaten the sanctity of marriage? Why is Bushie "troubled" that I make dinner for my family, read books at bedtime, watch family DVDs ?

Today: No News. Just Music, "to soothe the savage beast" in me.

The Pragmatist in Me Rears Its Ugly Head

Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, the old mantra, "One step forward, two steps back" started creeping from the back of my brain to the front.

It's now on my living room couch.

You, see, he finally did it. Bushie reared HIS ugly head and blah, blah, blahed about how "enduring" the institution of marriage is, and how he supports a Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage, blah blah blah.

[Which my Boss pointed out, how amazing it is how quickly folks jump on the anti-gay marriage amendment bandwagon but when we tried to get an amendment passed that would give women equal rights. . . how hard it was!]

Well, in a Feeble Attempt to Keep the Optimist Within Me Alive, I offer you this, from Leonard Pitts Jr. of the Miami Herald:

"It's a little know fact that MLK didn't really lead the March on Washington. What actually happened is that the marchers, a quarter-million strong, grew impatient waiting for the event to being and stepped off the curb ahead of schedule. King and the other march 'leaders' had to scramble to catch up.

"Forty-one years later. . . SF Mayor Gavin Newsom makes the quixotic decision to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and suddenly gay men and lesbians are rushing as fast as planes, trains and Nikes will carry them to the city where Tony Bennett left his heart.

"The people who have been flocking to SF did not decide to be gay... What they have decided is that they are human beings worthy of human dignity; that they are tired of waiting for people to get that. What they have decided is that it's time to step off the curb.

Step off, I say!

Ah, public officials; keeping the news waves alive. Just heard another one! This one called the National Education Association (the union that represents teachers) a "terrorist organization."

The public official? The Secretary of Education himself, Rod Paige!

Meanwhile, on the home front: PA State Rep. Jerry Birmelin plans to introduce a bunch of amendments (oh, like, 50 !) to current legislation in an effort to "reinforce the importance of traditional families." Read: trash LGBT families!

Then, there's that Colorado football coach, Gary Barnett, who, in response to a former [female] football player's allegation of rape by a [male] teammate, basically, "blamed the victim" by saying the female football player "was not very good. She was awful (as a football player). You know what guys do? They respect your ability."

So, if you're not as good a football player as the next guy, that gives him the right to rape you?!

Ah, America. Freedom of Speech and all that. I don't recall ever learning about Freedom to Hate, though (and publicly, yet!). Hmmmm.

Ooooh! Did he just say "sanctity?" Yes, he did. Guess who I'm talking about? No, not everyone's favorite Bushie. . .

But - the mayor of San Francisco!

You'd think he was a homo himself, the way he's organized a civil action AND taken back a word - an adjective yet!

My, my. This gay marriage thing is turning into quite the battle, eh? I'd stop writing about it, but it's just so darned interesting. Not to mention, historical - and I can't wait to look back on my postings 10-20 years from now. (Kind of makes me wish I had been keeping a diary all my life!)

Anyhoo, then there IS Bushie, who took it upon himself to meet with, you guessed it, a group of Roman Catholic leaders! Because, what IS political power anyway if you can't pray with them what brung ya!* (A tip o' the nib to Molly Ivans, there!)

Made me nostalgic a bit, 'cuz it reminded me of one of my first posts here, when I also wrote about separation of church and state (see my archives - August 31, 2003).

Remember back then. . . it was the "Summer of the Gays" and all was well with the world. Folks actually loved and embraced us then.

I knew it wouldn't last long!

Well, I am back from a quick trip to Western PA for a family funeral. Just wanted to share with you this conversation that occurred between me and The Banana, just before I left. From the Mouths of Babes:

Me: "Would you like to make a nice card for Anna (The Banana's cousin, also 5-1/2 years old)? I'll be seeing her tomorrow."

The Banana: "No."

Me: "How about giving her one of your old stuffed animals to hug? She's probably really sad since her Grand Pop just died."

The Banana: "Maybe."

Me: "Well, what do you think would make her feel better?"

The Banana: (without skipping a beat) "Making her Grand Pop 'not dead' " !